


Affectus

by whokilledlaurapalmer



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Angst and Humor, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-01-30 06:32:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12648072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whokilledlaurapalmer/pseuds/whokilledlaurapalmer
Summary: Akko is bad at feelings — Diana is even worse. Barbara finds a new friend — Hannah finds herself jealous. Lotte discovers romance outside of books — Sucy discovers an interest outside of mushrooms. Everyone at Luna Nova is gayer than they think, whether they realize it or not.Diana has reoccurring nightmares involving Akko following the battle with the Noir Missile. Akko wants to impress Diana, but doesn't know why. Everyone else watches in awe at the density of these two while simultaneously unaware of their own gay issues.





	1. Somnium

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first LWA fanfiction and my first attempt at a (hopefully long) multi-chapter slow burn. I hope y'all are ready to strap in and ride this roller-coaster of angst and gay along with me! :) 
> 
> (I'll probably change the title eventually, I'm never good at titling my work on the first chapter...)

Diana Cavendish didn’t express her feelings well. Not since she was a child, at least.

It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to. It was moreso that they were sifted through a filter in Diana’s subconscious, where she would catch any thoughts deemed “non-essential” in her day-to-day routine and store them away somewhere deep and forgotten inside her mind; a place where no daylight came through.

Recently, she tried to allow herself more leniency in the endeavor of open emotion. However, after many excessively warm exchanges between Miss Kagari and herself, this task began to prove more difficult than previously predicted, in more ways than one. It was nobody's fault, it really wasn’t. It was just that being around Akko caused her to act… different. Not better or worse in any sort of way, just a deviation from how Diana had always known herself to behave. Perhaps it was Akko’s inimitable, carefree nature that often rubbed off on the people around her, or the indisputable weight that carried over from the two of them destroying the Noir Missile. Whatever it was, it was beginning to make things exceedingly troublesome.

Diana often found herself worrying about Akko consistently. By consistently, she meant multiple, _multiple_ times a day. Which was odd, since she knew Akko had the tenacity to fend for herself, as well as trustworthy friends to keep her safe. Even still, doubts would plant themselves in her psyche regardless.

The most prominent location for these doubts were in her dreams. There was no fancy filtration system there. No barrier to keep out the things she so desperately didn’t want to acknowledge. Anything was possible.

The very notion of that was terrifying, to say the least.

* * *

 

_Syncopated images come in when she least expects them. Small things she didn’t see before. The way Akko’s hands began to slip from their grip on the broom handle. Why hadn’t she noticed? Why didn’t she say something? The way she reached out to grab Akko when she lost her balance, but was too slow—too late. No matter how fast she flew, she couldn’t catch Akko. Every millisecond, she fell farther away, smaller and smaller; hopelessly vanishing into the sea of clouds as the missile closed in on Diana, frozen in time; so overcome with a knotting despair that sunk deep in the well of her stomach. Her friend would perish all because of her ineptitude; her failure. Necrosis would encompass the Earth, rotting from the inside out, full of decay. Akko. Gone. It would all be her fault. All of it. And then-_

Then she woke up.

Her heart rammed against her ribcage, sweat saturating her robe. She gasped in a breath, sitting up immediately only to be hit with the whiplash, a rush of blood from her brain. Dizzying confusion. It took her a few seconds to realize it was all a dream; she was back at Luna Nova, in her bed, and, most importantly, Akko was safe.

Akko was safe.

Diana brought a hand to her chest, feeling how heavy her heart thrummed inside of her. She took another deep breath; inhaling slowly, closing her eyes, and exhaling twice as slowly. _There was nothing to be afraid of, nothing to cry about_ , she told herself. _It was just another bad dream. It wasn’t real._

Yet, her eyes still stung.

She snapped her eyes shut again to push that incessant burn away.

“Diana, are you alright?”

Diana opened her eyes again to see Barbara peering around the bookcase, eyes wide, genuine concern spread across her face.

“Diana?”

“This has been the fifth time this week,” Diana said to herself. Peering down at her hands clasped to her chest, she shuddered heavily. Was there no end to these anxiety-ridden dreams? Didn’t she have enough on her plate already? “I’m sorry to have worried you, Barbara.”

Looking out the window, she could see the pink hue of sunlight staining the sky. It was morning and, although a tad earlier than usual, it was time to wake up. There were many things that needed to be taken care of today and Diana wasted no time shifting her racing thoughts onto her loaded schedule.

* * *

 

The atmosphere at Luna Nova Academy changed after the battle with the Noir Rod. This wasn’t surprising. Neither was it surprising that Akko and her friends had garnered a large amount of attention and praise from their peers. It wasn’t entirely a bad thing, but it became an inconvenience after a while; exhaustion set in, the flattering, well-intended words became nothing more than repetitive, broken record hiccups. The whispers and oohs and ahs were akin to flies buzzing past her ears. Akko wanted nothing more than to continue her school life as normal; practicing her magic, learning to fly, spending time with her friends—with Diana. Diana, who she had grown so close to in the previous months, who had believed in her, who had stood by her when the world seemed to end and begin simultaneously.

But Diana was nowhere to be seen today. Odd. She usually appeared around lunch time, adding one of her even-worded quips to the conversation, causing Akko to react boldly and pull in laughter from around the table. Today had already been a quiet day to begin with; the green team was being punished for another one of Amanda’s wild stunts and the lack of appearance from any blue team members only added to the strange calmness.

“Say,” Sucy finally spoke, breaking their brief silence, “Akko hasn’t been scolded by Diana yet and it’s already past noon.”

“Huh?” Akko’s head shot up from sandwich she was shoveling into her mouth, narrowing her eyes at Sucy. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It did seem a tad quieter,” Lotte gave a nervous laugh. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen Barbara either.”

Lotte smiled, though a hint of disappointment could be seen in her eyes.

“Well, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s some stuffy aristocratic business. That or Diana just studying like a maniac,” Akko said. “So much that she can’t be bothered to say hello to us!” Akko added, subtle offense in her tone.

Lotte laughed. “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. We should be studying as well, since finals are coming up soon.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me!” Akko whined, hanging her head down in shame. Sure she still had a month of time left, but she had promised to give herself a head start this time around.

“You don’t sound very confident for someone who’s been practicing spells all week.” Sucy said.

“Spells are one thing, bookwork-” Akko frowned, visibly repulsed, “is another…”

Lotte looked around the cafeteria, the collective chatter felt a bit empty, especially without Amanda’s yelling. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Not that she would admit that. In fact, maybe calmness is what Akko needed to help her succeed. A switch flicked on in Lotte’s mind. She turned back and took Akko’s hand in her own with a newfound determination.

“Akko,” Lotte said, her voice louder and more forceful than usual. “I think you should ask Diana for study help.”

“ _Eh?_ ” Akko froze.

Sucy snickered, leaning back in her chair as if to brace for impact.

“ _EHHH?_ ” Akko’s voice rang throughout the cafeteria, causing several heads to turn in their direction.

“No! No! No _way!_  That’s so- ugh, _embarrassing!_  I’d feel like such an idiot in front of her! And I’d never hear the end of it from Hannah and Barbara!”

“I think you may be exaggerating a bit! After all, we’re good friends with the blue team, so I highly doubt Diana would try to make you feel bad for having a difficult time.” Lotte said, trying desperately to calm Akko down by patting her shoulder. She gave Sucy a scolding look, who was still giggling out of the corner of her vision.

“It’s not that!” Akko said, pouting and resting her face in her hands. “Diana’s-  _ugh_ , Diana’s super smart and has her own stuff to worry about. Trying to help me out would just be a waste of her time.” Akko buried her face into her hands.

“That’s not true!” Lotte said. “Diana considers you a good friend, and you’ll never know until you ask!”

“And if she says no, you can always help me with _my_ studies…” Sucy said, bearing a ominous, sharp-toothed smile in Akko’s direction.

Akko felt the blood rush from her face just thinking about Sucy using her as a test subject all week long.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask…” Akko mumbled under her breath.

“Yay!” Lotte smiled. “If it makes you feel better, we can go with you.”

Akko stood up from the table, still hesitant about asking Diana something so compromising. But, Lotte had a point; she was never good at paying attention or trying to study on her own. Perhaps Diana’s stricter nature _is_ what she needs.

But still… something about asking for Diana’s help made Akko’s stomach turn. Could it be pride? Maybe. It made sense, since Akko still refused to let Diana watch her progress until she felt it was just right—but, she had a good excuse for that! She just didn’t want Diana to be concerned if something went awry—and maybe she wanted to impress Diana a little, too.

Okay, actually a lot of it had to do with impressing Diana.

However, that wouldn’t be possible if she came groveling to her room, hands clasped together, begging for academic aid from Luna Nova’s star student. Just the mere visualization made Akko want to bury her face in her hands again. Either way, she had to resign herself to the fact that she was in dire need of a tutor. And if anyone at Luna Nova was good at helping other students with schoolwork, it was Diana Cavendish.

Akko sighed.

“Yeah, let’s just get it over with.”


	2. Invidia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What is taking over me? Jealousy  
> A bubbling inside of me? It's jealousy"  
> \- Marina and the Diamonds

Akko couldn’t bring herself to describe the feeling in her stomach as she approached the blue team’s room.

It wasn’t that she didn’t understand the feeling -- or maybe it was. Regardless, she didn’t have the patience to try and process it. Her heart was picking up its rhythm with every step and her legs began to wobble, as if she momentarily forgot all the knowledge her one year-old self gathered about walking. Though she had enough self-awareness to find this behavior a tad over-dramatic. After all, Diana was a friend. A really close friend nonetheless. Akko had no discernible reason to be so worked up, right?

Sucking in a breath, she knocked on the door while Lotte and Sucy lingered behind her in the narrow hallway. After a few seconds of no response, Akko promptly shrugged and turned around in an attempt to leave only for Sucy and Lotte to block her path, simultaneously shaking their heads. Defeated, Akko faced the dreaded room again.

After another pause, Hannah opened the door. She scanned over the trio and the usual half-smile she wore dropped into a straight line. Her gaze lingered on Lotte a moment longer than the rest with a subtle narrowing of her eyes. As soon as Lotte caught this micro-movement, Hannah shot her glance back to Akko. A breeze ran through the dark hallway.

“Diana's not here. She's busy.” Hannah’s tone was different -- frost coated the edges of her words.

Akko shivered. Flustered by the uncharacteristic bluntness, she was put on the immediate conversational defense. It wasn’t a big deal since she had grown accustomed to defending herself. Even still, she couldn’t help but relax her body just a little at the mention of Diana being out and about. Her legs stilled, functioning correctly again. Despite this relief, Hannah kept her on edge with the non-verbal daggers she was aiming in their direction.

“Huh? Are you assuming I'm just here to see Diana?” Akko stuttered, widening her eyes.

“Well, are you?” Hannah placed a free hand on her hip, her stare unmoving.

Akko pursed her lips. Damn, she didn't think that through! “M-maybe I just wanted to check on you all! We haven’t seen any of you today.”

“Akko wanted to ask Diana something,” Sucy said, receiving a pointed look from Akko in response.

“Like I said,” Hannah spoke curtly, as if she had more important things to attend to, “she has a lot going on: she has research to do in the library, not to mention oversee punishees, and help Professor Finnelan with some ancient rune translations.”

Akko rolled her eyes so far back that her pupils almost disappeared for a moment. _Diana back to her usual routine of being Luna Nova’s favorite student. Prioritizing academics over friendships once more! Guess saving the entire world together wore off after a while, no big deal! Reading runes was definitely more-_ Akko quickly snapped her mind out of its tangent. Why was she so bothered? It was no surprise Diana had important things to do. She was an important person, after all, and if the Academy hadn’t made that clear enough, it was obvious to anyone who interacted with her. It wasn't like Diana could spend time with her that much anyway… Not that it mattered! Akko had her own problems too! Asking Diana for help was just an afterthought, so it wasn’t a huge issue that she wasn’t around. Nope. Not at all.

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to come ba-”

“Why aren't you out following her around, then? Carrying her books or something?” Sucy quipped in, cutting Akko off.

“Sucy!” Lotte said a hushed, scolding tone.

Hannah’s mouth twitched in response to Sucy’s bold question.

“Barbara and I are studying,” she began, and then lowered her voice. “Also Diana requested that she wanted to spend some time alone.”

Lotte’s eyes lit up at the mention of Barbara and her entire body straightened from its usual demure posture. The light peeking through the door glimmered in the reflection of her glasses.

“Could I- uh- just say hi to Barbara; it’ll be quick, I promise-” Lotte said, trying hard to ignore the iciness of Hannah’s stare. A shudder creeped down her back regardless.

“I’ll tell her you said hi-”

Hannah was interrupted mid-door closing by a gasp from inside the room, followed by Barbara’s face squeezing next to her own to peer through the gap.

“Lotte!” Barbara exclaimed, a grin reaching eagerly across her face. “Lotte, let’s hang out later!”

“Ah, that- that would be wonderful!” Lotte smiled in return. “We still have to discuss volume eighty-seven!”

“Ooh! Yes, and I wanted to know what you thought about the dynamic between Edgar and Arthur in that one! It’s so complex...”

As the two of them went on, Hannah’s stone cold expression melted into one of surrender, her shoulders drooping and her eyes moving down toward the floor, unfocused. Sucy, who had kept to herself following her comment, noticed this change and, being more conversationally aware than she usually let on, knew what she needed to do in order to relieve the tension. So she nudged Akko or, in actuality, jabbed her elbow hard into her side; same difference.

“Ow! Sucy! What was that f-”

“Akko, perhaps we can find Diana if we look around the places her sycophant mentioned,” Sucy said, unbothered by her friend’s annoyance or Hannah’s raised eyebrow in response to being casually insulted again. She then gently placed a hand on Lotte’s shoulder, which snapped her out of her deepening conversation about vampire-space-pirates with the equally enthused Barbara. “Right Lotte?”

“Oh! Uh-” Lotte took a moment to process what Sucy had just said. “Y-yes! That’s probably a good idea. We’ve distracted you guys enough already!”

Hannah’s face relaxed slightly and a tiny exhale of relief could be heard if one listened close enough.

Barbara’s lips pushed out in a small pout. “Diana is probably in the laundry room with the green team, it’s been a few hours since she left!”

Akko nodded.

“Okay!”

“Thanks for stopping by,” Hannah forced herself to say.

And before Akko could say anything else, the door clicked shut. Lotte’s glance lingered on her two friends before allowing a nervous laugh to escape from her mouth.

“Did anyone else get a weird vibe from Ha-”

“Yes,” Akko and Sucy said in unison.

* * *

 

With the room to themselves again, Hannah leaned against the door and closed her eyes. She blinked once -- twice and noticed Barbara was staring at her with that all-too-familiar, knowing look on her face. Hannah bit her lip; guilt finally washing over her from the sharp way she had spoken to her supposed friends. And her best friend, who could read her mind faster than any book, was already shaking her head and opening her mouth to speak.

“I know, I-” She tried to defend herself, but Barbara wasn’t having it this time.

“What’s been with you lately?” Barbara folded her arms, keeping her distance. “Last week, you couldn’t wait to spend time with the red team. But, suddenly, these last few days, every time we see them, you make up some excuse to isolate us.”

“N-no, I don’t,” Hannah averted Barbara’s gaze, pretending to find the quill at her desk more interesting. She mindlessly fiddled with the feather. “I’ve just been trying to make sure we’re prepared for exams.”

“We haven’t even been studying for the last _hour_ and I’m starting to get hungry!” Barbara’s arms stiffened at her sides, her hands clenching as she spoke, trying to keep her voice level despite her growing irritation.

“Okay, fine, let’s get food -- I just-” Hannah drug the dry, pointed tip of the quill across the blank parchment, accidentally ripping the paper. “I dunno. Sometimes I get in a bad mood with these large groups we’re forming. I don’t know why.” She set the pen down, feather mussed, still keeping her eyes away from Barbara’s. The light from the window traced a shadow over the side of her face, shading over the growing shine in her eyes.

“Hannah?”

Barbara’s fingers uncurled from their grip. Her stare, once demanding answers, softened at the sight of Hannah looking so troubled by the subject. Closing the distance between them, she took her friend’s hands in her own. Hannah looked down at their clasped hands for a moment, before impulsively pulling her fellow blue team member into a hug.

“I’m sorry for making things weird.” Hannah’s voice was muffled by Barbara’s shoulder.

“You’re my best friend,” Barbara tightened her hold slightly. “If you weren’t weird sometimes, I would be suspicious.”

_Best friend._

Why did such kind words leave a cutting sting lingering inside Hannah’s rib cage; a foreign itch that wouldn’t fade. Was it for the same reason her stomach snarled itself in knots when she noticed how Barbara’s eyes twinkled like stars when she saw Lotte? Lotte Yanson, whose only crime was having the audacity to share a common interest with her friend? The same girl who had been nothing but nice to them, despite their previous attitude.

And yet, Hannah couldn’t compose herself like Diana could -- keeping her expression hard and immovable, like a marble statue. Instead, every sensation inside her showed on her face; as if she were a screen and her thoughts were a reel of film meant for the world to see. It was stupid and confusing. Just like feelings were. And she couldn’t stand the way her insides tensed up when she dwelled on it. So instead, she just nodded her head and labored a laugh, pulling herself away to look at Barbara once more.

This time, she met her eyes.

“I’m so glad you’re my best friend, Barbara. I don’t know how I would survive without you.”

* * *

 

Amanda was glad they ended up doing laundry again, because it was easy.

This was mainly because Constanze was a technological genius and Jasminka had the combined stamina and strength of a team of horses, which worked out well for laundry. And it worked miraculously in the many instances where Amanda’s unquenchable, anarchic thirst led them far, far away from the metaphorical “water” they were promised. Water meaning whatever real or made-up spoils offered to them. Far away meaning a trip to the office followed by a punishment or three.

But, Amanda didn’t mind punishments; they gave her time to plan her next escapade, as well as Constanze to build and Jasminka to- well, eat. The way they all worked together so fluidly, combining their talents to move along the workload, there was something soothing about it.

Constanze gave the screw a couple turns with her wrench before giving Jasminka a thumbs up to start turning the stationary bike pedals with her feet. This, in turn, spun the wings inside the giant washing machine, nearly quadrupling the speed it took to wash each article of clothing by hand.

Amanda had the more tedious task of hanging the clothes up to dry. Although, it could be said that she had the least amount of patience out of the three of them, she also knew when to restrain herself it was necessary. But, she would be lying to herself if the thought of air rushing past her face and through her hair didn’t make her fingers twitch. _Definitely wouldn’t mind flying at eighty miles per hour right now,_ she thought, _or kilometers- or whatever- just fast. Zoom zoom._ The excitement from imagining it caused Amanda to drop the clothespin in her hand.

Before Amanda could even look down to find the pin, she was interrupted by a familiar voice clearing their throat. Turning around, she saw Miss Cavendish, herself, checking in on them.

“It seems things are coming along just fine here,” Diana said, noticing the progress the green team was making.

Amanda smirked.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be? We always know how to get things done,” Amanda replied, folding her arms, pointing her green eyes toward Diana.

“If only you applied such forethought to your more… erratic decisions.”

Constanze shrugged her shoulders and Jasminka offered Diana some of her chips, to which she politely waved away.

“So, we stole a few cakes! Big deal! They always close the kitchen too early anyway!”

“You stole ten cakes if my memory serves me correctly. Anyway, rules are set in place for a reason. There is nothing wrong with enjoying things in moderation,” Diana said.

“Yeah, yeah, we heard the same spiel from Finnelan!” Amanda said, turning back to her clothesline. “C’mon Diana, I thought you developed a sense of humor about these things after we helped stop that missile thing.”

Diana sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Things are different, yes. However, not everything changes for the better when serious events like that happen.”

“Huh?” Amanda was surprised by such a dark comment, coming from Diana nonetheless. “Hey, are you-"

“Like I said, everything appears to be in order here. Good work. I mustn't keep Professor Finnelan waiting much longer.”

And with that, Diana Cavendish turned around and left as quietly as she entered, the air picking up slightly around her feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hannah, honey, you're jealous. Everyone can tell. It's okay. And Diana, you can't go around saying things like that! People will start to worry...
> 
> I'm going to set a minimum of one chapter per week! Thank you all for the kind reception so far! Your comments make me smile and also make writing this angsty feelings fest even more enjoyable! :D


	3. Metus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akko's brain be like: *every Hayley Kiyoko song playing at once*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my LWA tumblr: https://diakkoislife.tumblr.com

Diana’s footsteps reverberated down the hallway with a light _clack_ , filling the surrounding air with urgency.

There was a satisfying tempo set this way. Diana walked with purpose and the other students could pick up on it, whether subconscious or not. What they couldn’t pick up on (and this was convenient for Diana) was the cyclical pattern of her thoughts, endlessly spinning in circles. Not the most favorable way of thinking -- she knew that. This cycle, however, was not without its justified reason: Diana was musing about dreams; specifically, nightmares.

She would be a fool not to acknowledge the negative effects they were beginning to have on her. Her normal eight hours of sleep shrank to six at the most and, while she had been used to little sleep during finals week, it annoyed her to no end when she couldn’t get proper rest during her downtime. Her usual cognitive focus had also taken a hit; Finnelan had to repeat herself multiple times when asking for Diana’s input on the rune translations. That was abnormal for her. Though she wasn’t ignorant to this issue, she still requested space to mull it over. But even in the current silence, the nagging voices in her mind were growing tiresome, and she was tired of being tired.

 _How unnerving it would be,_ she thought, _if Akko were to see me in such a state._ The rapid tapping of her footsteps synced with her heartbeat. That was strange. Why would she be bothered by Akko seeing her like this? Maybe it was that, whether she accepted it or not, she enjoyed maintaining her usual image of composure and sophistication, even though Akko had been the only other student, besides Hannah and Barbara at times, to see behind her infamous concrete wall. So why would it be upsetting now, after everything shared between them? This was just another thing that Diana had to analyze.

For now, the dreams were more important.

Diana knew she wasn’t under a spell or a curse, nor had she ingested anything that would alter her dreams in any way. She knew well about emotional tampering magic: the Cupid Bee was a prime (and embarrassing) example of this, as well as the multitudes of dream-altering spells she encountered in her years of study. But what drew her away from any magic-induced hypothesis was that dream magic was exceedingly difficult to perform without rigorous practice, and unless someone who was expertly skilled in dream manipulation was sneaking into her room and casting spells on her every night, (which was absurdly unlikely) she had no reason to conclude that these nightmares had any magical source.

The frightening part of that conclusion, however, was that the only viable source left was a psychological one.

Diana did not like psychology.

Whenever she revised the subject, it forced awareness to her own inner conflicts. It was _uncomfortable_ to think about, to put it simply, and when Diana was uncomfortable with things, they were neatly folded up and filed away into the farthest corner of her mind to collect cobwebs and thick layers of dust. They would stay that way for a while, until an event of extreme significance caused them to resurface again.

_Significance-_

Diana turned the corner and a realization smacked her in the face.

 _Literally_ smacked her in the face.

Lost in her thoughts, she had accidentally collided with another student, who emitted a comical yelp in response as she fell backwards on her rear. Diana reeled back, snapping out of her rumination. She held out a hand to help the other student up, furiously apologizing as she did so.

“My sincerest apologies, I wasn’t paying attention-” Diana paused when her blue eyes were met with fiery, red ones. “ _A-Akko?_ ”

“Ah, looks like we found her,” Sucy’s usual underwhelmed tone could be heard from a few feet behind them.

“Are you okay, Akko?” Lotte said as she ran to Akko’s side.

Akko closed her eyes, laughed to herself, and grinned in her usual sheepish way, rubbing the back of her neck with her hand. When she blinked again, the air left her lungs, her focus hovering over Diana’s outstretched hand before flickering up to her face and looking into those familiar, sharp, yet, concerned eyes. Akko lifted her brows, as if finally registering who it was she collided with. Her mouth opened and closed, then opened again.

“Ah... Diana,” her voice trailed off, forgetting how to form coherent sentences for a moment. Where was she? A hallway? In a dream? All that was in focus was Diana leaning over her, the daylight from the windows bleeding in behind her, illuminating her form in a warm, yellow glow. It was so hypnotizing that she was momentarily unable to remember what she was going to ask, or why she was searching for her in the first place. And for some reason, she didn’t mind that she didn’t know because gosh, Diana looked sorta like an angel if she ever saw one and _gosh, her hands! She probably takes really good care of them; my hands are so calloused in comparison from doing so many chores that they would probably mess hers up somehow-_ and wow, that was a strange thought.

Diana cleared her throat, snapping Akko out of her weird trance. She hesitated before finally taking Diana’s hand to not seem rude, ( _it was as soft as she remembered_ ) and hoisted herself up from the floor.

“Ah, sorry, sorry,” Akko regained her ability to speak once she was on her feet again. “We were looking for you.”

“Actually, just Akko was. We came for ‘moral support’-”

She swiveled her head to glare at Sucy. _Way to throw me under the bus_ , she said in her mind, assuming Sucy could hear her. She couldn’t. Instead, she just snickered in response to the fury building in Akko’s face. It was amusing.

“Erm- Akko…”

Akko relaxed at the sound of Diana’s voice and, pivoting back to face her, noticed that she wasn’t meeting her eyes; face turned away, a slight tinge of pink on her cheeks. Akko looked down and noticed that she still had a firm grip on her hand.

Oh. _Awkward_.

Akko let go immediately and moved her hand to rub her neck again. A strange tic of hers.

“You were looking for me?” Diana said, creasing her brow in worry. “Is everything alright?”

“Uh- y-yeah, everything's fine!” Akko said, thrown off by the amount of genuine concern in the question. “I was just wondering if- like- if- uh- it would be- uh,” Akko gulped. Her mouth was insanely dry. When did that happen? Also, when did it get so warm in here? She tugged at the collar of her shirt. The inside of her brain sounded all garbled and staticky, like the noise her clunky, old television would make when she flipped through channels at three in the morning. She pushed through the white noise, forcing the words to come through. “If maybe- if you were alright with it- and had- uh- time and all- if it was possible-” She took a deep breath. “That you could help me study?” Her voice cracked on the last syllable, to further add to the embarrassment.

Diana didn’t respond for a bit, instead folding her arms and sighing. Akko felt her heart drop into her stomach with a loud _plop!_ Lotte gave her support via thumbs up, although the anxious look on her face wasn’t selling it very well. If she could read Diana’s mind, she was probably thinking how silly of a request that was and what a waste of time it would be-

“Forgive my silence,” Diana said. “Judging by your nervousness, I had assumed that, perhaps, something terrible had happened.”

“N-nervousness?” Akko nonchalantly wiped the beads of sweat off her forehead. “ _Psh!_ I was just- thrown off from my fall- yeah… lost my train of thought for a second, that’s it...”  
  
“I see,” Diana nodded her head. “Although I don’t want to deter you from your flying practice, I see no harm in tutoring you when we have spare time.”

“I’m sorry, I completely understan- _eh?”_ Akko had already anticipated a rejection. “Wait? You’re okay with helping me?”

“We’ll need to figure out a time, but yes,” Her lips turned up slightly into a ghost of a smile. “Honestly, I’m surprised you hadn’t asked me earlier.”

“Eheh, I hadn’t really given it much thought until today. Although, it was more Lotte’s idea than mine.”

“It was entirely Lotte’s idea,” Sucy said, who had quietly moved right next to Lotte during the conversation.

Lotte’s face flared red at the attention being drawn to her, she looked down at her hands and steepled her fingers. Sucy placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Good idea, Lotte,” Diana flicked her eyes briefly in Lotte’s direction. “I’m glad your friends are as concerned with your academic well-being as they are with your safety, Akko.”

“Aw, don’t worry about me! You know I can handle myself!” Akko said with a hue of defensiveness in her tone.

Since Diana’s schedule kept her from knowing what Akko was getting into most of the time, she was glad that Lotte and Sucy, for the most part, kept their friend from sticking her nose in any unnecessary danger. But, knowing Akko as well as she did, she knew that wasn’t always possible. In all truth, it ached at her. Since their battle with the Noir Missile, the two of them had formed an attachment that was hard to properly explain, even for Diana; she couldn’t bear the thought of something bad happening to Akko again. The very notion felt like a hand squeezing her heart, digging its fingers into the chambers, and yanking it hard.

So, if attempting to teach an easily-distracted Akko kept her out of harm’s way for at least a couple hours, then Diana could find satisfaction in that.

“I have some free time tomorrow after five o'clock, if you want to start right away,” Diana said.

“So soon?” Akko’s mouth dropped open. “I mean- I’m sure that w-would work.”

 _Damn!_ _I thought I’d have some time to study enough to not seem completely incompetent in front of Diana._

“Excellent. I’ll see you then,” Diana said as she continued on her way back to her room, her shoes picking up their thin echo.

Akko watched Diana leave until she was completely out of sight. When she was, Akko slumped her shoulders and hung her head down in defeat, emitting a pathetic whine to go along with the whole display.

“What is it now?” Sucy said, being unsympathetic to Akko’s plight as usual.

“I have to agree with Sucy,” Lotte chimed in. “Diana said yes, isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Yeah…” Akko replied without lifting her head. “I dunno… I just feel… bad?”

“Why would you feel bad?” Lotte asked.

“I…” Akko’s brain felt all mushy again. Why couldn’t she say anything when she first saw her? Why did she stutter so much? Like she was scared or something. “I’m actually not sure why…"

She admitted she had compared herself to Diana in the past and would be lying if she thought she wasn’t jealous. But since then, they had grown so close. They had seen each other in their most vulnerable moments and maybe part of the reason she felt so nervous was that every time she looked in Diana’s eyes she felt transported back into that exchange in the magic item cafe, one of the few times she saw Diana smile at her, telling her that her magic was extraordinary.

The Chariot card. The ritual room. The thermosphere. Pocket memories would flood over her every time she looked at Diana or even touched her hand. It wasn’t fair that she had to continue school like it was all okay. How could she downplay the shift between them? How could Diana do the same so easily? Why did the thought of proving herself to her make her heart jump, while the thought of failing made her hands shake, despite doing just that so many times before?

And Diana -- god, she was just so good at everything. In contrast to her, she still felt lacking. But Diana, she understood Akko’s struggle more than anyone could, and that was something special.

She wanted to hold onto that. She couldn’t disappoint Diana. She had to prove herself even further than she already had. Akko was determined this time, an ember sparking in the well of her stomach.

She straightened up.

“Sucy, Lotte, let’s hurry back to the room,” Akko said, surprising both her friends with her sudden shift in attitude.

“I have some revising I need to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally going to have two segments, but this exchange with Diana and Akko went a lot longer than anticipated and honestly... I'm not gonna try and hinder the natural flow of things, so I'm just letting this be its own chapter. The story is picking up, I swear... but I mean, what's the point of a slow burn if it's not slow, right? (:
> 
> (Next chapter will have some good H&B and Sulotte feels, I promise! There's plenty of gay angst to go around!)


	4. Faveo

Akko lifted a large stack of books off of her desk faster than she could actually read any of the titles on them.

“I’m going to the library now… by myself…” Akko spoke, obvious strain in her voice from the exertion of carrying the textbooks. “I’ll see you guys later…”

“Oh thank goodness, I was getting whiplash,” Lotte sighed with relief, plopping down on the lower bunk.

“You sure you don’t need help?” Sucy asked Akko, her nice question overshadowed by the naughty twinkle in her grin.

“Nope! I’m fine! Just gonna… spend some time in the library… absorbing information into my brain…”

“Good luck with that,” Sucy said, making minimal effort to control her laughing as Akko took off wobbling down the hall. A few moments of silence passed before a loud crash.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay!” They heard Akko call out.

“Oh Akko,” Lotte said under her breath. “What’s gotten into you?”

“I think I might have a small guess as to what it is,” Sucy said, sitting herself at her desk and pulling out empty vials and other potion making supplies.

“Really?”

“Something happened between Akko and Diana after that battle with Professor Croix’s hate missile,” Sucy said. “I think we all picked up on the change when they came back from space, but none of us knew what to say or how to feel about it.”

Lotte met Sucy’s eyes with a look of understanding, knowing what she said was true. She could tell by the overall energy of the group that none of them questioned or challenged the attachment that formed between Diana and Akko; not even Amanda (who particularly enjoyed getting under other people's skin) would pester them about how often they brought up each other’s names in conversation. The most bothersome thing about it was that neither of them acknowledged or admitted to the shift in their friendship. Diana continued to keep to herself and Akko pushed all of her focus into perfecting her magic. Sure, the group still hung out together occasionally, but Akko’s newfound worry about when Diana could and couldn’t see her practicing made it difficult for everyone to hang out as often.

“I don’t know how to bring it up to Akko,” Lotte climbed up into her bunk and picked up the crystal ball she left on her bed. “I can already hear her trying to wave it off as competition or something.”

“Maybe we should just wait for her to figure it out herself,” Sucy said, pulling a bundle of thin mushrooms with dark purple caps out of her cloak pocket.

“You’re probably right. I just hope she doesn’t go overboard with this whole studying thing,” Lotte booted up her crystal ball, typing in the web address for the Night Fall discussion forum she often frequented and looked over at Sucy, who was meticulously twisting the caps off of the stems. “What kind of mushroom is that?”

“I found them in the forest nearby this morning. This particular species is known for putting people in a deep meditative state upon ingestion, surprisingly useless for poison despite its color.”

“So you’re making a sleeping potion?”

“Essentially, yes. I can make good revenue in the next couple of weeks from stressed out, sleep deprived students looking for instant rest. Although, I’ll need to test it on someone first to make sure it works.”

“Sucy!” Lotte threw her friend a disapproving look.

“I’m kidding,” Sucy said, smiling as she crushed the caps with a mortar and pestle. The stones clinked together rhythmically. “Kinda.”

“You know, for all the things you’ve tested out on Akko, I’m surprised you’ve never experimented anything on me.”

The clicking stopped and Sucy turned to Lotte.

“I would feel bad doing something like that; you’re too nice.”

Lotte, clearly not expecting such a genuine response, didn’t know what to say. She snapped her eyes back to the Night Fall forums, rapidly scrolling through the threads without reading anything, hoping that the heat she felt on her face was just from Sucy lighting up the bunsen burner at her desk.

“Too nice? That almost sounds like a bad thing.”

“It’s not,” Sucy held the vial of fluid over the flame. “We balance each other out. Maybe that’s why I don’t mind your company so much.”

Okay, a compliment from Sucy was rare, but two? That was a _real_ scarcity there. Lotte didn’t want to dwell on it for too long, lest she start overthinking, which was a bad habit she and Diana seemed to have in common. She smiled to herself.

“Let’s just make a promise now,” Lotte said, changing the subject. “That if Akko starts going overboard, we’ll have a serious talk with her.”

“You know I don’t need to make a promise for that,” Sucy gently swirled the blue-tinted potion, wafting the fumes with her hand and shivering with delight. “It’s the least we can do if Akko starts behaving more of a fool than usual -- which is a lot.”

“Yeah.”

A few minutes of comfortable silence were shared between the two of them. Sucy would argue that Lotte’s mere presence made the room more relaxing, as she was simply a gentle personality to be around. As much as an introvert as Sucy proclaimed herself to be, she would probably pick spending time with Lotte over being by herself any day. She didn’t know why that was, nor did she really give it much further thought. When Sucy liked something, she liked it, and that’s all there was to it.

However, the peace was interrupted by a knock on the door. Lotte, perking up at the sound, hurried down the ladder and opened the door with a dorky, cheek-to-cheek smile on her face.

“Barbara!”

“Lotte!” Barbara was at the door, beaming with excitement. She held two of the volumes of Night Fall that Lotte let her borrow the other day. “I brought back volume eighty-one, but I forgot how amazing volume eighty-two was until I finished reading it!”

“Wow! You read both of those books in two days?” Lotte’s mouth popped open in shock.

“I know, I got really into the way Edgar and Arthur’s relationship builds throughout both books!” Barbara exclaimed, hugging the novels to her chest. “They go from working together to save Belle to pretending they still dislike each other, but it’s _so_ obvious there’s unresolved tension between them!”

“Exactly! For a while, it’s almost a romance story between the two of them!”

They both giggled. Barbara noticed Sucy at her desk and lowered her voice.

“Oh, I hope I’m not interrupting your work Sucy,” Barbara said. Of all her new friends, Sucy was the only one she didn’t know well and therefore, didn’t want to accidentally bother her.

“You’re not. Did you forget we share residence with Akko?” Sucy said without turning around. “At this point, I’m an expert at tuning out noise.”

Lotte grinned and side-stepped, allowing her friend inside, sharing a entertained look over Sucy’s deadpan insult. If only Akko was there the hear it; fireworks would’ve gone off.

“Speaking of Akko,” Barbara said, setting the books down on Lotte’s desk. “I passed her on the way over here. I was going to say hi, but she seemed in a hurry -- mumbling to herself and all that, so I didn’t want to hold her up.”

Lotte just sighed in response, she didn’t have a good feeling in her gut about Akko.

* * *

 

“It’s cruel and unusual punishment -- that’s what it is,” Amanda complained aloud, Constanze and Jasminka matched her slow stride as they headed toward the cafeteria; Stanbot perched silently on Constanze’s shoulder.

“I thought you didn’t mind chores,” Jasminka teased, her voice deceptively sweet. “When we stole those cakes, you said ‘a week's worth of punishments would be worth it’.”

“I-I don’t remember that!” Amanda winced and rubbed at one of her hands, her bottom lip sticking out in a pout, resembling a wounded puppy.

“My hands are so chafed. I feel a huge blister coming in too, I just know it.”

“They look fine to me. Want me to kiss them better?”

“Oi!” Amanda reflexively folder her arms behind her head, clicking her tongue. “Not funny!”

Jasminka and Constanze both giggled in response. Amanda gave them both a side-eye before smiling, as well. Usually, Amanda was the openly affectionate one of the trio, so when Jasminka was feeling exceptionally sly, and the tables were turned, Amanda would get flustered and try to play off her surprise, which always made for good fun.

“Amanda is cranky because she’s tired and hungry,” Stanbot chirped from Constanze’s shoulder. “Just like a small child!”

“Oh, come on!” There was a slight whine in Amanda’s voice. “You two are always ganging up on me!”

“Wait -- is that Hannah?” Jasminka tilted her head, looking past the two of them. “By herself?”

There were only a few students lingering around the cafeteria when the three of them entered, which made it easy to spot Hannah sitting at a table alone, resting her head in her hand; the only other company with her was a book that she had no visible interest in reading. The green team, almost by instinct, shared a puzzled glance with one another.

Amanda didn’t hesitate to take off running. She glided down the stair railing and plopped herself into the chair next to Hannah, maintaining her cool visage as she ran a hand through her flame-like orange hair. This impressive entrance, however, went unnoticed as Hannah seemed fixated on the unopened book in front of her.

“Hannah with no Barbara? Not even Diana? What kind of bizarro universe did I just wander into?” Amanda said, trying play off the fact that her coolness went unappreciated.

Hannah’s head snapped up, as if she had been broken from a trance, and her eyes sparkled and darted around excitedly. Upon registering the new person as Amanda, the light abruptly dimmed and she lowered her lids.

“Ah, yeah… Barbara had to return some books to Lotte. She invited me to come with her, but I said no.”

At this point, Jasminka and Constanze had finally caught up and sat themselves at the two free chairs left at the table. Stanbot hopped onto the table and did a cute twirl, handing a peppermint candy to Jasminka, who happily popped it into her mouth.

Amanda could sense something was off about how Hannah was behaving and while she realized this immediately, she wasn’t one to just up and ask someone about their feelings. Instead, she decided on a more indirect option.

“Well, I guess that means you’re hanging with us now.”

“Huh?”

“Hannah spending time with us? What a treat!” Stanbot chirped in a singsong voice, offering a peppermint to Hannah at the cue of ‘treat’. She stared at the candy for a moment, unsure if robots were capable of sarcasm or not.

“I appreciate what you’re all trying to do,” Hannah said, fixing her gaze back on the book in front of her. “But I’m not the funnest person to be around right now.”

“Oi, what’s this?” Amanda snatched the book up and examined it, her face contorting with disgust. “Ugh, it’s that Night Fall crap Barbara and Lotte like! Don’t tell me you’re getting into it too?”

“Hey, give me that!” Hannah grabbed at the book, but Amanda was faster and held it up out of her reach. She quickly gave up, not having the energy to feed into Amanda’s teasing. “Oh, what’s the use! I couldn’t get into it anyway…”

“You’re telling me you don’t even like Night Fall?”

“I can’t bring myself to like it. I keep trying, but,” she held an hand over her mouth to hide her laugh. “It’s just- it’s just so bad! I can’t get past the first three pages!”

“So why the hell are y-” It took Amanda a second for everything to click together. _“Oh…”_

“I feel so guilty. I talked so much crap about Night Fall right in _front_ of Barbara. She felt like she couldn’t tell me she actually _liked_ it -- not until she found out how much Lotte enjoyed it anyway,” Hannah sighed, her shoulders slumping and her head hanging pathetically. “Some best friend I am, insulting her interests. No wonder she would rather spend time with Lotte.”

“You didn’t know then!” Amanda said. “So she can’t hold that against you.”

“You also shouldn’t force yourself to like something because Barbara does,” Jasminka added. “You’re her best friend, after all. Surely you have more things in common.”

“You guys are right,” Hannah said. “Even Barbara said I was overreacting. I know I’m being stupid about such little things and yet-” Hannah cut herself off, feeling a sudden surge of sadness pull at her chest, swelling and throbbing like an open sore. She had to stop talking completely, lest her voice give away the immediate rush of heartache she felt. A feeling she still couldn’t completely comprehend, or better yet, didn’t want to.

Amanda clapped Hannah on the back; it was clear that whatever Hannah was about to say was on a more personal level than she had realized. Amanda took it upon herself to steer the conversation in a more upbeat direction.

“Constanze, Jasminka, and I have very little in common -- besides our troublemaking tendencies,” Amanda added quickly. “But we’re still really close, just like you two. Barbara wouldn’t throw that away over some book! And if she did, that would be the _dumbest_ decision she could ever make.”

Jasminka and Constanze both nodded in approval.

“Maybe I just need to get out of my head for a moment. Yeah…” Hannah trailed off, deep in thought for a moment.

“Where are you guys going after dinner?” She added, her tone rapidly shifting from despondent to slightly curious.

Amanda closed her eyes and shrugged, putting the book down and leaning back in the chair.

“Probably gonna bug Akko’s crew since we’ve been ‘missing in action’ all day,” Amanda snickered. “Don’t want Akko to worry too much about me!”

“Amanda, you can say you missed Akko, we won’t judge you!” Jasminka piped in.

“Oi!” Amanda shook her fist playfully at her fellow team members and Hannah couldn’t help but smile at their antics.

* * *

 

Astrology was a confusing subject.

Moon in Scorpio, Venus in Taurus, Mercury in the fifth house? There was too much to remember. Akko flipped through the pages with desperation, attempting to write notes on the few sentence fragments she could make sense of; the rest dissolved into convoluted and unreadable characters and settled like slimy, stagnant water around her brain. Something something constellations, something something star clusters. Her eyes whirred in and out of focus on the text like a camera lense as her head began to droop forward, her quill leaving a long line of ink on the paper where her notes should be. Eyelids lowering, she feebly tried to fight back and keep focused, only to succumb to the growing sleepiness.

_I’ll close my eyes for just one minute! I’ll even count the seconds to make sure! It’s not a nap if I count, right? Right. Okay._

_One… two… three… f…_

_The constellation of Cancer is the dimmest constellation of the zodiac yet, full of open clusters. Thousands upon thousands of stars. Up, up, up in the galaxy. Clusters of stars in her hands, dissolving, lifting, rising into space. Loneliness sets in for a moment, but someone else is still here, gazing deep into infinity with her. Someone else. Someone bright. She takes her hands as the stars splinter. Warm tears -- warmer hands. Cancer is full of stars, but still the dimmest- Why isn’t it enough? Why is it still compared to the others? Why is she crying when this is the happiest she’s ever been?_

“Akko,” a gentle voice spoke, accompanied by a hand patting her shoulder.

Akko’s head shot up from her book, her parchment glued to her face by the string of drool that had leaked out of her mouth.

“Huh? Wha-?” Akko craned her head around, her paper tapering off of her face and swaying back down on the desk. When she didn’t see anyone, she turned around to look behind her and was greeted by a warm smile from her favorite Professor.

“Professor Ursula!”

“Hard at work, I see,” Professor Ursula said with a tiny laugh. “I hope you aren’t pushing yourself too much, Akko.”

“Nuh-uh,” Akko shook her head. “I’m doing alright! Diana agreed to help me study tomorrow, so hopefully I’ll have an easier time- uh- focusing.”

“Ah, that’s awfully nice of her,” Professor Ursula said, her eyebrows raising at the mention of Diana. “She’s kept herself quite busy as of late, I hope she can manage the time. Though, knowing her, I’m sure she can make it work.”

“Honestly, I _still_ can’t believe she even said yes, knowing it takes me a while to pick up these things,” Akko said, motioning her quill to the assortment of open textbooks before her.

“I think Diana would be more than understanding of that. She cares about you deeply, even if she doesn’t say it outright,” Ursula said, ruffling Akko’s hair. “You shouldn’t dwell on what you still haven’t picked up yet. Instead, celebrate how much you’ve grown.”

“Yeah. I guess it’s just hard to see things positively when my progress is still so slow!”

“But progress is still progress nonetheless!” Professor Ursula said, internally proud of how philosophical she sounded. “You’re extremely brilliant Akko. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.”

Akko grinned at those words, the sincerity in her voice made Akko feel light in her chest, so light that she hadn’t realized that she had been feeling so -- _heavy._ Professor Ursula had made a good point. She was capable of extraordinary magic. She knew this. It wasn’t something that could be argued, even if she wanted it to be.

_Then why do I feel like something isn’t enough?_

“Thank you, Professor Ursula,” Akko replied. “You always know what to say!”

“Ehehe, now you’re giving me _too much_ credit.”

“Akko?” Another voice called out to her from further away.

Pivoting in her seat, Akko looked over toward the library entrance and saw Amanda and her posse, as well as… _Hannah?_ What an unexpected addition!

“Amanda!” Akko called out, before quickly remembering she shouldn’t be shouting in a library.

“Akko, let’s go practice flying! We still have a couple of hours before it gets dark!”

Akko gave Ursula a look of uncertainty. She was obviously torn, and as much as she thought she would be able to study without issue, the black splotches of ink all over her notes said otherwise. Professor Ursula could already tell where Akko’s head was at and gently closed one of her textbooks with a soft chuckle.

“Go on, Akko,” Ursula smiled. “I’ll make sure these get back to your room.”

“Professor Ursula…” Akko started before Ursula shook her head. “I understand. Thank you -- for everything.”

Akko waved goodbye before speeding up her pace to catch up with Amanda’s group. Professor Ursula watched as her protege took off with renewed energy. She sighed and looked down at the mess of books left on the table. She picked up one of the pieces of notepaper and made out a couple of words through a sea of scribbles:

_Constellation of Cancer._

_Warm hands._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Akko... if only you knew...


	5. Contineo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe you’re tired?”
> 
> “Maybe you’re hungry?”
> 
> “Maybe your heart hurts?”

Diana had never felt it.

‘It’ being another term for what her childhood peers had called ‘butterflies’, (although this never made sense to her; butterflies couldn’t survive in the stomach, the acid would burn them alive). A crudely simple word for the way that wealthy, teenage girls twirled their hair, tugged at their dresses, and giggled a touch too loudly whenever they spotted a man they deemed attractive at the oh-so-important party their influential, well-to-do parents dragged them to.

Diana never understood. These young businessmen, whose eyes would inadvertently find Diana across a sea of star-struck fawners, would always come to her, their voices low, their smiles saccharine, and their gazes searching; sometimes predatory. How the other girls would glare, as if their thoughts could maim; how many of them probably fantasized about ripping her apart. For some reason, she found that notion far more interesting than any of the men who attempted to court her. Those men were boring.

They would press their chapped lips to her knuckles and her eyes would glaze over as they rambled on about the same things; nepotism coated in business-jargoned terminology, masking the fact that they were all just spoiled daddy’s boys in fancy clothes. Diana didn’t care -- she never did. And it wasn’t because they were wealthy, (Diana never had to worry about money herself, she was more than aware of this privilege) rather it was the insufferable egotism they carried along with their status. The way they oozed of self-importance, believing that flattering words were all they needed for her to conveniently fall head-over-heels for them. It was transparent and, quite frankly, insulting to Diana’s intelligence.

She was too smart, too determined, too proud to be another tittering sycophant. Shiny Chariot had lit a fire inside of her. Chariot gave her the strength to believe, even when she had thought she would never be able to perform magic. But that was the past, Diana knew what she was capable of now, and she had no patience for complimentary nonsense that meant nothing to her.

Diana didn’t want to believe something else was wrong with her. Even as she grew older, still having no pull in her chest whatsoever, she refused to accept that something else was different.

Every word piled on another -- indistinguishable mumbling -- white noise. Had someone called her pretty? Mentioned her hair? It all fell emptily around her, like dead leaves from fall-time trees, drifting, waiting on the ground to be crushed under her feet. It didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

Diana understood love, for she had loved her mother incomprehensibly. But her mother wasn’t around anymore, nor had she been for a long time. This didn’t mean she couldn’t still feel her mother’s love within her; that was something that had transcended time and existence -- both life and death. However, aside from her mother, the feeling of love was not something Diana was well-acquainted with. Following her death, that emotion, along with many others, became distant to her.

Diana had never been _in_ love, and she was beginning to wonder if she ever would be.

Then she had met Atsuko Kagari, and the foundations had quaked from underneath her; her entire core had been shaken around so recklessly, like marbles clacking in a bag, like bees violently buzzing in a jar. Everything became intangible and strange and it unraveled like loose thread between her fingers as every interaction between them brought Akko closer to her. In the secret hospital, the words of her mother echoed in her mind and it was then that she saw Akko through newly-opened eyes, something fluttered in her stomach for the first time. Something like butterflies.

She was in the secret hospital with Akko. She remembered. But now -

_Now -_

_Now she is in the ritual room and the hiss behind her grows louder, all-encompassing; its rattling floods her ears. Her wand, the only thing that keeps her in control, is knocked out of her hand. She looks down at the snakes coiling around her ankles and her breath rushes out of her. Constricting her, a large snake wraps around her frame from behind and pushes all the remaining air from her lungs. Breathless, she shifts in and out of consciousness, in a daze, and spots a large mouse barreling toward her. It’s Akko. She knows. Through her lowering lids, a large snake leaps in front of the mouse and snaps its mouth closed around her, in one moment, all too brief. She opens her mouth to scream, but no noise escapes her. The room is soundless, save for a tea kettle whistle ringing inside of her head. Wincing, her eyes close for a second before she opens them again. Akko’s body lies face down, twitching in front of her, the sickly, violet hue of snake venom spreading across her skin. In desperation, she tries to move, but it’s futile. Shutting her eyes again through her tears, the ring turns into a drone, and then into a scream. The scream is in her voice._

_The high shrill causes the room to tremble around her, chunks of debris cascading from above. The snakes begin coiling around Akko, the sky falling- falling- falling-_

_“Akko! AKKO!”_

Diana’s upper body bolted up from her mattress, her face coated in sweat. She gasped in a breath of cool air and a soft sob escaped in her exhale. Pulling her knees to her chest, she wrapped her arms around them and buried her head.

“No tears. No tears,” she whispered. She kept her eyes closed tight and pushed her forehead against her arms. “Sh, sh, sh…”

Diana imagined what her mother would say then, when she had a nightmare, wiping the tears away and pulling her into an embrace that radiated with warmth and safety, looking into Diana’s eyes and speaking in a voice that sounded like heaven: melodic harp strings, cottony soft clouds, edgeless, infinite.

Diana sought out that voice in her mind, grasping for it.

_“Shh… there is nothing to fear.”_

She allowed her mother's voice to repeat and fill her ears, taking another large gulp of air. The words pressed against her back like a reassuring hand and wiped at her eyes. The sound embraced her just as her mother had all those years ago.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later that Diana finally found the strength to stand up. Sunlight glared over her face from between the curtains and served her a merciless reminder of what she had to do today.

She needed to tell Akko something during their tutoring time.

She needed to tell Akko about her nightmares.

* * *

 

 _Studying with Diana,_ Akko thought.

In just a few minutes, Akko was going to be alone with Diana, _just_ Diana… and a bunch of books. They were going to be within close proximity of one another for long periods of time, which was something that Akko _totally_ didn’t feel any certain way about and it _totally_ wasn’t an aspect of the evening that kept replaying in her brain. It _definitely,_ most _certainly_ was not the reason she kept pacing around her room, fiddling with the quills and papers on her desk. Akko had rearranged her stack of books six times. Sucy counted.

“Akko, I understand that you’re a bit anxious,” Lotte said from her desk, face buried behind her copy of Nightfall (Volume one-hundred and twenty-seven to be exact). “But maybe a walk around might be a better way to expend your nervous energy?” She looked up at her with a patient smile.

“Seven,” Sucy said as Akko straightened out the books again.

Akko rolled her eyes and forced a laugh.

“ _Psh!_ I’m not nervous, Lotte! I’m just, er,” Akko reached over to start touching her quills again, but retracted her hand when she heard Lotte clear her throat. “I was just… getting organized. That way, I can look at least a _little_ prepared.”

“I’m sure Diana will be very impressed when she sees you’ve arranged your books by color.”

“Sucy!” Lotte chided.

Akko reeled, her eyes growing wide. “I- I didn’t say anything about Diana!”

“You don’t have to. It’s written all over your face,” Sucy retorted. “It’s the same thing you do during flying practice: you get all funny when Diana gets invited-”

“Okay, that’s enough teasing,” Lotte stood up and shot a miffed look at Sucy, as if to say ‘ _what the hell are you doing’_ before patting Akko’s back. “Akko, remember, don’t worry about not feeling smart enough. Diana isn’t going to judge you.”

Akko squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, still processing what Sucy had just said. Was she really that obvious? Duh, of course she was! Since when was she subtle about anything? Akko sighed, defeated.

“I’m just- ugh. I’m just not gonna... think at all. At least about, that kind of stuff…” Akko trailed off, her voice farther away. She scooped her supplies off of her desk and pushed her lips up into a small smile. “I’ll be fine you guys. I swear! Finals have me all over the place, ahaha. Anyway, I better hurry, I don’t want to be late.”

Lotte’s brows furrowed and she opened the door to let Akko out. They exchanged their goodbyes and Lotte hesitated, watching her friend leave, before shutting the door behind her. She closed her eyes and took a breath, before giving Sucy the most baffled stare she could muster.

“Why did you have to go and say that to her?” Lotte’s voice raised only slightly, but enough to be loud for her standards. “Right before she has to go and meet Diana, of all people!”

Sucy leaned back in her chair.

“Because she has to figure it out at some point,” Sucy said. “I’m just trying to nudge her into giving the situation more thought, even if it’s a little mean.”

“I thought we agreed to wait until she figured it out,” Lotte huffed.

“Yeah, but I’m impatient,” Sucy said with a smirk before dropping back into seriousness. “Besides, it’s frustrating when she doesn’t see what’s right in front of her.”

“Patience is _exactly_ what Akko needs.”

“Fine,” she turned back to her desk. “I’ll try to hold my tongue, but I can’t guarantee things won’t slip...”

“Sucy!”

* * *

 

Diana’s room wasn’t a far trek in the slightest, but Akko’s legs may as well have been walking through water, as there was resistance in every step, growing heavier and heavier as she neared the familiar door down the hallway. She had braced herself for this last night, much to the annoyance of Amanda’s crew (plus Hannah? She was still confused by that). The fact that she couldn’t get her broom off the ground last night wasn’t helping her wavering confidence either.

_“I don’t understand. I was able to hover a few feet last time.”_

_“Maybe you’re tired?”_

_“Maybe you’re hungry?”_

_“Maybe your heart hurts?”_

_“...”_

_“Hannah, what the hell?"_

_“Err- sorry, ignore that!”_

In retrospect, maybe Hannah’s conclusion was the most appropriate after all, even if it came out of nowhere. Nevermind Amanda trying to brush Akko’s lack of progress off as her being too stressed out about exams; it just didn’t feel right. Last time she practiced, she flew, she remembered because everyone gasped and cheered -- even Diana.

Diana.

That’s right. She was _there_.

Akko shooed the thought away, waving at it like a pesky fly. With that, she rapped her knuckles against the door, balancing all her supplies in her other hand. There was a few moments pause, and Akko was already thinking of an escape plan. She could make an excuse: say she wasn’t feeling well or that she had amnesia or that rogue fairies stole all her notes-

Suddenly, she heard a click from behind the door, followed by the low squeal of its hinges as it was slowly opened. It was then, that it dawned upon Akko, that she didn’t have her friends with her this time, nor did Diana have hers. Just the two of them. Alone.

The first thing Akko noticed, when she forced her head up from her feet, was that Diana looked different. Breaking that thought down, there wasn’t anything off about how Diana’s hair fell or how her clothes always looked fresh and ironed. No. There was something about her eyes. A shadow fell underneath them, the skin was less taut.

“You’re on time,” Diana’s sharp voice shattered through Akko’s observation like glass; her attention was brought back. “I’m impressed. Come in.”

Nodding her head a bit too eagerly, Akko stepped inside the room. It was eerily quiet without Hannah and Barbara chatting away on the sofa. Last time she remembered the room being this silent was when she had snuck in _as_ Diana. Though, that memory didn’t really serve her any good use at this moment, in fact it just reminded Akko that Diana was always expected to be knowledgeable about everything. If only turning into Diana made Akko just as good at everything too, then maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea- _that’s so weird stop_. Akko shook her head, as if to physically remove the doubts clouding her brain.

“Thanks again for agreeing to help me,” Akko began, setting her books down on the nearby desk. “I know you’re super busy and all-” she glanced over at Diana, who grabbed a book from her shelf, “s-so I appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem,” Diana responded, placing a large, intimidating book on the desk, “I figured I could help you study while I do some researching of my own.”

“Oh really? Like what?” Akko began to open the cover before Diana abruptly pushed it closed. Akko retracted her hand and bit her lip.

“Nothing you should concern yourself with,” Diana’s response was more curt than usual, and Akko was slightly taken aback. Diana changed her tone to her usual, soft one and sighed. “Anyway, what would you like to revise first?”

“Uh- well,” she ran through the queue in her mind. “Linguistics has been giving me a lot of trouble recently.” Akko flipped open her languages textbook to one of the pages she had bookmarked; an ancestral alphabet.

“Right, then,” Diana sat down in her seat and motioned for Akko to sit next to her. Akko paused, gulped, and then obliged, making sure not to lean into Diana’s workspace too much. “What do you know about this particular alphabet already?”

“Not much…”

“Alright, I want you to study this line of text here,” Diana pointed to a sentence written in the ancient language. “Use the reference guide on the page prior. And when you finish, recite to me what it says.”

Akko nodded. The instructions seemed simple enough, so she started scanning over the strange symbols. Diana watched her with focused eyes before switching her attention to the large book in front of her. Her fingers fiddled with the corner of the cover, tentative to open the book, dreading what she might discover. She moved her eyes between Akko and the book a few times before bracing herself and opening the book.

It was titled _Dream Psychology._

Diana forced her eyes to the words, promising herself not to falter, not to dwell on the negative flashes of her dreams that would sporadically come to mind when she blinked or allowed her mind to wander. She needed to focus and understand what was happening to her. There had to be a more concise way of telling Akko she was having nightmares about losing her without it seeming too -- too --

Diana struggled, sifting through her mental vocabulary.

Fragile? Tender?  No.

_Vulnerable._

The word was vulnerable. It clamped down on her brain and made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up with a prickle. Echoing between her ears like ringing bells, sirens, and radio jingles blasting all at once, the word had made itself known and dug its roots down deep into the soil, planting itself firmly in her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I would like to apologize for the lateness of this chapter; finals hit me like a sack of bricks. I love your comments and enjoyment of this story, it keeps me motivated and makes me want to continue entertaining and immersing you as readers! Thank you, see you all next week (hopefully)!


	6. Cohibeo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inside the box had been the words, but under those words had been another locked box, surrounded by a sea of keys. Was there an end? One question was answered only to bring up several more. Too many for Akko to engage at once.

Whether Diana realized it or not, it was becoming difficult to breathe.

Perhaps the verbosity of the text could mask things enough, at least for Diana to not have to come to the conclusion of vulnerability, or worse, _fear_.

_What are you afraid of?_

Diana attempted to affix her gaze to the book, pushing the thought away and allowing the chillingly logical, medical verses to enter her brain instead. Usually she was good at letting words fill her head instead of feelings, but this time, it proved challenging. Her eyes kept flicking back to Akko and her focus refused to settle.

_You don’t need to research. You know what it is already._

The words were long and verbose and Diana squinted her eyes to take them all in. Time passed, probably. Though she didn’t know how much, since she hadn’t looked up from her book. In fact, the text-filled paged remained unturned. Diana had been reading the same sentence over and over again, like a loop, or a broken record. Eyelids lowering, neck drooping; the letters fell apart under her watch, crumbling and falling to the bottom of the page. Leaning forward, her nose pressed to the paper, eyes barely open now, her body slipping- slipping-

_Don’t make it harder than it needs to be._

“D-Diana?”

Diana looked up and saw double for a moment, everything tilting, spinning, and blurring before her. Shaking her head slightly, she allowed her vision to sharpen again and turned around to find the source of the noise. But her eyes only met Akko’s, who was still sitting beside her at the desk, her face knotted with worry: brows furrowing and bright, red eyes darting over her warily

“Akko,” Diana’s voice was hoarse. “My apologies. That was inconsiderate of me…” Rubbing at her forehead, Diana reluctantly broke her eyes away, fingers adding pressure against the skin.

Akko tilted her head, the apologetic words floating past her ears. All she cared about was the girl next to her, who seemed more pale and drained than she’d been yesterday, as if she was slowly being worn down. Without even thinking about it, she took Diana’s hands in her own. The sudden physical contact made her straighten up, hands twitching slightly in Akko’s grip.

“Diana, are you okay?” Akko leaned in and Diana could see her gaze sparkling in her peripheral. “We can stop if you’re too tired!”

“I’m fine,” Diana said, but her softened voice was less than convincing. “There’s no need for concern. I didn’t sleep well last night, that’s all.”

Akko’s hands still held tightly onto Diana’s and she couldn’t help but notice that she was becoming acutely aware of how comforting they were beginning to feel. How long had it been since they grabbed one another’s hands as a means to encourage each other? It felt like forever ago. Before then, she hardly remembered anyone taking her hands aside from her mother. Familiar gentleness; she found it harder and harder to push away the urge to curl up into that feeling again from such small contact. Those heavy feelings of protection and safety and-

_Don’t make it harder than it needs to be._

“Well, you’re my friend and I’m concerned,” Akko’s voice broke through the mist around Diana’s head. “We can study some other time. You shouldn’t overwork yourself!”

“Akko, please…” Diana trailed off, her chest tightening up, holding the rest of her sentence back.

This was going all wrong. Diana was supposed to be helping Akko but, as if part of some cruel joke, she was the one being helped instead. She was the one who wanted to keep Akko away from trouble -- away from the monsters and danger that came with magic. The falling sky, the crumbling ruins, the agony of watching her in pain, even in dreams. To think she could’ve been- No. She didn’t want to imagine those scenarios that tore at her heart in the night.

Deep in her reflection, Diana hadn’t even felt her teeth slowly digging deep into her bottom lip to keep it from quivering. Nor did she catch her shoulders beginning to shake. What she could feel, however, was the creeping warmth in her eyes. That was unacceptable.

“Diana,” Akko’s voice brimmed with worry. “Is everything okay?”

_No._

“Yes.”

Closing her eyes, she staved off the building moisture. Selfish. She was being so selfish, having Akko focused completely on her irrational behavior. Diana found she couldn’t regain her composure as easily with Akko in her proximity and her hands quietly warming her up.

But Diana needed to tell her anyway. That’s what she wanted. Right? There was no better time than now.

“It’s just that-” Diana paused, locking up again. Why did Akko have to look at her that way? Her eyes were so bright and welcoming and kind. She would be burdening her, telling her about her problems like this. They were her issues and she always tried to involve as little people as possible into her personal dilemmas. Besides, it wasn’t like there was anything Akko could do about them. Last thing Diana wanted to do was give her something else to worry about with finals coming up.

Yet, another part of her felt the words shaking at her lips, begging to come out, craving that desire to be heard and understood by someone else.

“It’s just that…” Diana repeated, giving herself more time to think. “I’ve had a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

“Like?” Akko pressed, leaning forward. As soon as she saw Diana withdrawing from her, she realized that she was being too aggressive. Akko pulled herself back, looking down at their hands. “Eheh, sorry, that was kinda nosy of me.”

“Nothing to apologize about.”

“I guess I just always wonder, ‘cause you’ve been keeping to yourself a lot recently. You act really mature and adult-like about everything,” Akko said, continuing to look down. “I can’t help but hope you’re not keeping things bottled up, y’know? Like with your family or school or magic or anything. You can always-” Akko stopped herself, realizing how much weight the sentence had.

_You can always be open with me._

“Akko,” Diana inhaled sharply, the air was slow as it filled her lungs. Breathing had become an arduous task. “I apologize for any distress I may have caused you with my improper behavior, but I must insist that you refrain from worrying about me.”

“No!”

Diana’s eyes widened at the sudden interjection. Akko’s voice was sharper, her eyes snapped back up to meet hers.

“You can’t just tell me not to be worried, I’m your friend!” Akko paused, her eyebrows lowering as her shoulders slowly slumped. “Right?”

“Akko… of course we’re friends. Why would you-?”

“I dunno,” Akko shook her head. “Ever since we fought the Noir Missile, it’s like-” She let go of their hands to run hers through her hair in frustration. Diana felt cold again, a breeze washing over her skin. “It’s like- something changed between us, but we just went back to how things used to be anyway. I rarely ever see you or talk to you. And now you’re back to pushing things away again! I don’t understand. Did I do something?” Akko knew she was saying too much, but couldn’t bring herself to stop, the words were flying out of her faster than she had anticipated, like they had been lying in wait, ready to be spoken for a long time.

Diana blinked and opened her mouth to speak, but her tongue was dry and nothing came out. All she could do was stare back at Akko, who appeared to deflate even further as the silence lingered.

“Sorry,” Akko said, rubbing her neck. Once again she had to make Diana feel uncomfortable with all her word vomit and conclusions. What was she thinking? Akko doubted she was even thinking at all at this point. “Sorry, that was… I didn’t mean…”

Before Diana could respond, Akko stood up from her seat, looking away, fists clenched.

“I knew I would mess this up somehow- I should go.”

“Akko, wait.”

As Akko turned to leave, Diana bolted to her feet and grabbed her wrist. Akko froze. The two of them stood there, another wave of silence passing. That was when Diana saw it, a tear falling from Akko’s downcast eyes and hitting the floor between their feet.

“I don’t know what’s been going on with me,” Akko finally spoke. “Here you are, having trouble, and I make it about me. What am I doing?”

Unthinking, completely unthinking, Diana ran her thumb across Akko’s wrist; for what reason, she didn’t know. Perhaps a means of comfort or a quiet effort to get Akko to calm her emotions for a minute. Whatever it was, Akko began to tremble, looking down at Diana’s hand on her wrist, then back up with watery eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Akko managed to say before pulling her hand away and making a beeline for the door.

Diana did not stop her. She did not know why. It was as if Akko’s presence had made her thoughts difficult to speak, and instead of knowing what to say, all she could do is stand there uselessly while Akko tore herself apart. Running a hand through her tousled hair, Diana felt a cold, creeping chill up her back and that annoying warmth coming back to her eyes.

Akko had been heartfelt in the past, that was a component of her personality, one that Diana admired greatly. However, this time was different; she had looked so… pained. Had Diana really been keeping that large of a distance from Akko? In her own paranoia about her thoughts, was she unconsciously pushing her dear friend away? Diana didn’t want to think that was the truth, but she was too smart to lie to herself. Intrusive thoughts aside, her hesitance had once again made things more problematic for her.

She debated going after Akko, though she feared she would freeze up again and not solve anything. But she couldn’t allow Akko to run off all upset. Last time that had happened, Diana had found her freezing in the snow. Diana had to do _something._ If only her racing thoughts didn’t work against her so cruelly.

Diana took a deep breath and hurried out the door.

* * *

 

_That was it, that was it, that was it._

The feeling, she had pinpointed it. She had spent days, in the dark, shuffling around in a pile of keys, shoving them in the lock twisting each one to no avail -- but this time, there was a click. It _clicked_. All cylinders. Clockwork. Oiled gears. Thoughts were running faster and faster. Faster than Akko’s feet as they seemed to glide over the floor in her sprint. The key was found, but the timing couldn’t have been worse.

_I want to be closer._

That's what she wanted. It was the click. Inside the box had been the words, but under those words had been another locked box, surrounded by a sea of keys. Was there an end? One question was answered only to bring up several more. Too many for Akko to engage at once. Her feet, however, were easy to engage. So she continued to run away. Because, sometimes, running away was the best course of action: physically and emotionally.

Akko didn’t think about where she was running to, she had nowhere in mind she wanted to go. If she had been moving in circles, she wouldn’t have noticed that either. At least circles would give her a sense of familiarity, because nothing else in her head felt that way, and she really needed a sense of sameness now.

“Akko?”

Freezing in her tracks, Akko swiveled her head toward the source of the voice.

“Professor Ursula…” Akko sighed, relieved. She wasn’t sure how she’d react if it had been Diana again.

“You’re in quite the hurry,” Professor Ursula said as she approached her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Noticing that Akko averted her gaze this time, which was something she didn’t do unless something was troubling her, Ursula crouched down to Akko’s level. It was then that she saw the reddening puffiness around her eyes. Her voice lowered. “Akko, is everything alright?”

Akko silently shook her head, still too volatile for words.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Akko shook her head again, paused, then nodded her head.

“Not here,” Akko forced herself to say, feeling her voice breaking again.

“Right. Let’s go to my office.”

Ursula, sensing the urgency, brought her hand gently to Akko’s back to guide her as the two of them began walking together. They didn’t have to say anything to one another, it was made pretty clear what the source of Akko’s mood was, especially after the conversation the two of them had yesterday. So Ursula made sure to walk slowly and smile at Akko when she occasionally looked up from the floor; seeing her pupil so downcast and rejected made her heart ache. It reminded her again, that despite everything they had been through, Akko still had trouble with the intricacies of school and relationships. And, as much as Ursula wanted to give advice, she knew her own past experiences with people and feelings hadn’t had the greatest outcome. All she could do for now was lend Akko her full attention, as well as provide a shoulder to cry on.

When they reached Ursula’s room, she softly ushered Akko inside, who proceed to slump down in one of the chairs at the desk. As soon as the door was shut, she broke down into a quiet sob, covering her mouth with her hand.

Professor Ursula moved over to sit beside Akko and patted her back.

“It’s alright, let it out,” Ursula said. She wouldn’t press Akko about the issue. If all the girl needed to do was cry about it, she was fine with that, and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she was a bit _too_ familiar with how Akko was behaving now. “And then when you’re all done, we’ll have some tea.” She pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to Akko.

Akko nodded, sniffling and dabbing at her eyes with the cloth. They sat together for another minute as Akko finally simmered down, the redness fading from her face a bit, though a tinge of it still lingered on her nose. Taking in a breath, she allowed herself to relax a bit as Ursula got up to prepare a pot of tea for them.

“Is jasmine flower alright?” Ursula asked.

“It’s perfect,” Akko croaked, fiddling with the handkerchief in her hands.

“Ready to spill?”

“Not yet,” Akko smiled sadly and shook her head. “After tea.”

Ursula simply nodded, bringing two hot cups of tea over for them. Akko brought hers up to her face, allowing the steam to hit her for a second before looking at the pitiful reflection in the liquid.

A serene, peaceful sense of recognition passed between the two of them as they continued sitting silently, as sad as Akko felt, simply being with her idol and mentor made her feel calmer by the minute. As they slowly drank their tea, and after Akko’s face had dried completely, she set down her cup, emitting a low whistle of air between her teeth.

“I said something stupid to Diana.”

Ursula gave a faint nod and placed her hand atop of Akko’s.

“I highly doubt you said anything Diana would consider stupid.”

“No. But I thought it was stupid,” Akko grumbled to herself. “I told her I felt like we weren’t hanging out as much. I don’t know why I had suddenly said that, or why I felt so…” She paused again, fighting the urge to get emotional again.

Ursula gave Akko’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“You don’t have to talk about anything that’s too upsetting,” Ursula said.

“I really freaked Diana out. And the worst part was, that she was obviously going through something. I mean, she looked so tired and her mind seemed to be stuck on something else,” Akko leaned back in her chair, whining and covering her face with her hands. “Man, I really blew it. I just had to open my big mouth.”

“You seem awfully concerned about what Diana thinks, Akko.” Ursula smiled. “I believe I remember having a similar conversation with you last night.”

“Yeah, but I feel like it made more sense when I started spilling my thoughts. Like they were a bunch of puzzle pieces and everything started to fit together.”

“Oh? What do you mean?” Ursula sat up in her seat.

“I mean,” Akko gulped, her breath coming in short. “I think- I think the reason I worry so much about what Diana thinks of me is-”

Akko’s admission was cut short by an unexpected (and expected) knock on the door, clipping the thought away.


	7. Adiuvo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn’t know you were so informed on the subject of loss, Amanda. Please, do educate me on what it means to lose someone.”

Amanda twirled her quill absently, watching the thick feather weave between her fingers.

Homework was a bust. She didn’t have the patience to sit down and stare at words for hours like her other two roommates had miraculously managed to do. Really, she had tried (for a good five minutes). But Amanda considered herself a quick learner, in which, she quickly learned that reading was lame and there were more interesting things she could be doing instead.

Groaning a tad dramatically, Amanda pulled herself up from her bed and placed her quill on Jasminka’s desk. She had hardly noticed Amanda’s movement, as she had become quite engaged in whatever it was she was reading (Culinary Magic, no doubt), and crunching earnestly on pretzels from a package nearby. Constanze had retreated into her lab to study; the extra barrier between her and the others gave her the necessary privacy to focus on her work.

Amanda opened her mouth to speak and caught herself mid-breath. Oops. It would be rude to interrupt Jasminka just to tell her she was going out. She was considerate of her friends… sometimes. Instead she opted for using the gentle click of the door to cue that she was leaving.

Wandering down the hallway, Amanda folded her arms behind her head and ran through her mental list of all the things she could do. She supposed she could bother Sucy and Lotte; interrupting their private, serious conversations was always so entertaining to her. Bugging Akko wasn’t an option, as she was studying with Diana this evening, which she had told, or rather, announced to their entire table during breakfast. Maybe Hannah and Barbara were free to pester, though, given how Hannah’s mood had been the last time they hung out, she probably wouldn’t appreciate Amanda butting into any time the two of them shared together.

Perhaps her thoughts could manifest physically, Amanda wondered, since as soon as she reached the doors to the courtyard she spotted Hannah leaning against one of the archway pillars, a couple of textbooks clutched to her chest. Once again, she looked deep in thought, her eyes more focused on the ground than anywhere else. With a slight tilt to her head, Amanda snaked through the other students and hurried over to her friend.

“Don’t tell me,” Amanda sidled up to her with a toothy grin. “Barbara’s got you waiting around for her again.”

A little startled, Hannah’s head snapped up. Upon seeing Amanda, the surprise in her eyes diffused and she relaxed a bit, her lips turning up in a small, yet lacking, smirk, as if her mind was still a ways away.

“She’s meeting me here, actually,” Hannah said. “Since Diana told us to fend for ourselves today, I decided to study with Avery in her room.” She shuffled her feet a bit and mindlessly shuffled her books. “I didn’t really know how to tell Barbara I can’t focus as well with her around, so I kinda made up an excuse. I dunno. It doesn’t really make any sense why.” Her mouth fell back into the slight frown that her face was becoming more accustomed to.

Amanda folded her arms, looking intently at her, and then smiled; this time, her grin was less mischievous, and appeared to lean more on the sympathetic side, the usual devious twinkle was missing from her pupils. She sighed, rolling her shoulders a bit and leaning her back against the pillar next to Hannah, her eyes looking absently at the students passing by.

“Since when do things ever make sense, huh?” Amanda joked, lightly nudging Hannah’s side to get another smile out of her. “Logic is overrated anyway. Though, I’m sure Princess Cavendish would say otherwise.”

Hannah snorted and swatted lightly at Amanda’s shoulder.

“Don’t be mean!” She attempted to sound serious, but the waver of an oncoming laugh gave her away.

“You say that, yet you laugh!” Amanda raised her eyebrows.

“Ah, well,” Hannah caught her breath. “I really shouldn’t. Diana’s been a bit-” She paused, looking for the right words. “Preoccupied… mentally, I mean.”

“Isn’t she always?” Amanda said, earning herself another swat.

“Yeah, but, it’s been different,” Hannah said. “She hasn’t been this withdrawn since the whole incident with her family.” She shook her head. “Either way, I shouldn’t be going on about it. I just worry. Once she retreats into that shell, it’s... hard to reach her.”

Cutting through the middle of the courtyard, Barbara spotted Hannah in the trickle of students outside. A couple more steps and she could make out Amanda standing right next to her. Strange. Since when did Hannah and Amanda hang out alone? Slowing her stride, Barbara’s mouth twitched as she watched Amanda pat Hannah’s shoulder, leaning over and saying something else to her, her mouth missing her usual troublesome quirk, more serious. Hurrying behind the Statue of Jessica before either of them saw her, Barbara pressed up against the stonework, peeking around the corner every so often with narrowed eyes.

“I noticed something off about Diana too -- she was saying some really weird stuff yesterday,” Amanda ran a hand through her hair, her eyes looking out ahead at nothing in particular. “I’m not really close enough with her to ask her about it.”

“Yeah…”

“As for the Barbara thing…” Amanda shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “You might wanna talk to her.”

“What do you mean?” Hannah inhaled a bit too sharply, turning her head to look at Amanda with a quirked eyebrow.

Amanda rolled her eyes. Her teeth poked back out from under her lips as her grin turned playful once more.

“C’mon, it’s a little obvious, don’t ya think?” Reaching over she ruffled Hannah’s hair with her hand. Hannah scrunched her face in response, a mixture of confusion and embarrassment at her transparency when it came to her attitude toward Barbara.

Barbara, her stare sharper than any dagger, didn’t notice her nails digging deep into her palms. Later she would see the marks, but her tunnel vision only kept the two girls in her focus, every other distraction faded away. She held her breath, watching Amanda have the _audacity_ to touch her friend with the type of comfortability that was only shared between the two of them. Her mouth tightened into a straight line and something stung her. Not a bee sting, nor a spider bite. Something deep inside stung. It was strange and foreign and sickly. A sting, an ache, a burn; all the sensations stirred together and rose up from the bottom of her stomach to the back of her throat. Perhaps this was how snakes felt when they hissed and readied their fangs, but the urge to spit word-venom at Amanda, one of her new friends, didn’t sit well with her. But the urge was there, nonetheless.

Amanda, unaware of the hidden eyes honed in on her every movement, threw her arm around Hannah’s shoulders and leaned in to whisper into her ear.

“I know you’re worried you’ll muck up the friendship, but it’s better than keeping it all bottled up. Trust me on this, okay?”

“I don’t kn-”

“ _Trust_ me.”

If Barbara had squinted any harder, she swore she could see Amanda’s blazing orange hair brushing against Hannah’s ear. Not like having her arm around her wasn’t infuriating enough! The blood running through her muscles made it impossible for her to continue standing still. So she emerged, or rather _marched_ , out from behind the statue toward the two of them.

“Oi, speak of the devil!” Amanda pulled away from Hannah and waved.

“B-Barbara,” Hannah said, startled. She pushed up a smile to hide the immediate jump in her chest. Barbara’s timing couldn’t have been worse. Hopefully, she hadn’t heard what they were talking about.

“Hi, Hannah,” Barbara said robotically before immediately snapping her gaze toward Amanda, her voice lowering.

“Amanda.”

“Sup,” Amanda kept up the unbothered facade, despite feeling a chill pass over her. Barbara looked void of any type of mirth, not even the malicious joy she used to revel in. No, this time her face twisted like something heavy had fallen on her feet and she was fighting back every atom within her to keep from screaming. Her eyes were piercing, like they wanted to murder Amanda in a myriad of cruel (and probably Nightfall inspired) ways.

“I didn’t know you two were becoming such good friends.” Barbara tilted her head, making sure to keep her voice as level as she could.

“Ah, we’ve only hung out a couple of times,” Hannah said, stepping closer to her.

Amanda jumped in. “Mostly by accident-”

“Interesting. Good to know,” Barbara cut in with an unexpected sharpness. “Hannah, shall we get going then?”

Hannah’s brows knitted together, her mouth slightly open as she heard traces of anger in the notes of Barbara’s voice.

“Barbara, is everything alright?” Hannah asked.

“Right,” Amanda’s eyes shifted between the two girls, taking this new tension as her cue to go find someone else to bother, and quickly, given how Barbara seemed to be keeping her in her peripheral. “It was nice to run into ya guys, but I’m gonna bounce.”

Hannah watched as Amanda wiggled her eyebrows at her, nudging her head toward Barbara, with a bit less subtlety than Hannah would’ve appreciated, before hurrying off.

The two of them stood silently for a moment as they watched Amanda leave. Barbara sighed and folded her arms, turning her gaze back to Hannah.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” Barbara’s voice was empty.

“Barbara-”

“These last few days, you’ve been so unbearably fussy every time someone wants to see me- and what, you’re over studying at Avery’s and letting _Amanda_ climb all over you? Ha-” Barbara attempted to laugh, but the sound was hollow and felt like it didn’t belong to her at all.

 _“Unbearably?”_ Hannah’s eyes grew. “What- what are you even saying, Barbara? Can’t I have other friends?”

“Can’t _I_ , then?” Barbara cut through her words like a knife and Hannah would be lying if she thought she didn’t feel the sting. “I know you don’t like when I hang out with Lotte. It’s written all over your face. You wear all your feelings on your sleeve, y’know. You can’t _hide_ things from me, I’m your best friend!”

“No, that’s not-” Hannah’s voice faltered, her fingers dug into her books as she pressed them closer to her chest. “That’s…”

“So, is this like, you getting back at me or something? Instead of just saying what’s up, you make all these weird reasons to avoid me and hang out with others?” Barbara said. “How is that fair?

“Barbara, quit it!” Hannah shouted in defense, wincing at the verbal jab. “What’s gotten into you? I’ve _never_ seen you this worked up. Seriously.”

“No -- what’s gotten into _you,_ Hannah?” Barbara’s tone lifted up high before dropping to the bottom of wherever her heart had gone. “Because-” She swallowed. “If it’s something I did, I’d like to know. And I assumed that you wouldn’t hesitate to tell me since…”

“No,” Hannah sighed. Every beat of her heart felt like a battering ram against her ribcage. “You didn’t do anything.” She inhaled deep and slow, everything went still for a moment. Gently, she took Barbara’s hands in her own and looked her in the eyes.

“Barbara, I need to tell you something.”

* * *

 

Amanda folded her arms behind her head once more as she walked down the hall, whistling a few notes. Once again, nothing to do. Her stride slowed to a halt when she heard something behind her. The patter of abnormally quick footsteps. It was enough to convince her to turn her head around.

“Huh? Diana?”

Diana stopped when she reached Amanda, turning to her with a creased forehead and glossy eyes. Upon closer inspection, Amanda could also tell there was something else off about her friend: her hair frizzed a bit and the usual oceanic blue of her eyes appeared dimmer. It was an uncommon look for her.

“Amanda, have you seen Akko?” Diana asked, getting straight to the point of talking to her. _That_ was common.

“Wasn’t Akko supposed to be with you?” Amanda cocked an eyebrow and snickered. “What- did you lose her or something?”

“ _Lose_ her?”

Diana’s words bit hard, unsheathed from their usual guards of politeness and tact; even with her social quickness, the ground trembled under Amanda’s feet from the mere weight of them and she lost her bearings.

“I didn’t know you were so informed on the subject of loss, Amanda. Please, do educate me on what it means to _lose_ someone.”

“Whoa- Diana- hey, I was just kidding,” Amanda backpedaled once she saw Diana snap her eyes shut again, rubbing at them with her fingers. “Diana? What happened?”

“I… I deeply apologize. That was... terribly rude of me,” Diana shook her head, pausing to collect herself again while she pushed the stray hairs from her face. “Akko ran off and I really need to speak with her right now.”

“Akko ran away from _you?"_  Amanda gawked before stopping herself again. Now was obviously not the time to push Diana’s buttons. “I mean, is everything okay? Do you know where she might’ve went?”

“I was going to check her room, though I’m certain that would be too obvious, even for Akko. There’s also the chance she could have gone to Professor Ursula’s office.”

“Here, I’ll help you out,” Amanda patted Diana’s shoulder, feeling it give under the weight of her hand.

“Let’s split up and look, okay?”

* * *

 

There was another knock.

Professor Ursula gave Akko sympathetic smile and a shoulder squeeze before getting up to answer the door. Akko exhaled and stared down at her cup, swirling the remaining bit of tea as her thoughts whispered to her.

“Who is it?” Ursula called as she grabbed the handle of her door, hesitating for a moment as she awaited a response.

“Uh... Amanda,” the muffled voice from the other side spoke. “Is Akko there?”

Ursula glanced over at Akko who swallowed and nodded to her. Nodding back, she turned the handle and cracked the door open just a bit. Fortunately, Amanda hadn’t been accompanied by anyone -- as far as Akko was aware anyway, as she stayed back at the desk.

“Good evening, Amanda,” Professor Ursula greeted with her usual nervous smile. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for Akko,” Amanda tilted her head, eyes trying to peer behind Professor Ursula for any sign of her friend. “Diana’s worried sick -- thinks she might’ve ran off again or somethin’.”

Akko’s body tensed at the mention of Diana being worried, that wrenching guilt pulling in her stomach again. She set her cup down.

“It’s alright, Professor Ursula, you can let her in.”

Ursula opened the door wider to allow Amanda to step inside, whose shoulders relaxed at the sight of Akko safe and in one piece. She shook her head.

“You know, you’re pretty good at making people worry about you,” Amanda said with a chuckle. “Too bad they don’t grade you on that.”

Akko was still in too crummy of a mood to laugh at Amanda’s dig, merely smiling weakly before turning her gaze back to her hands. Ursula closed the door behind her and leaned against the wall, quietly listening.

“I feel bad about causing such a fuss,” Akko said, gathering her thoughts. “And Diana… where is she?”

“She went to your room to check for you,” Amanda sat herself at the chair across from her, leaning back in her usual breezy manner. “Remind me to rub it in that I found you first,” She paused. “Actually, don’t. She’s already lashed out at me.”

“D-Diana yelled at you?” Akko’s eyes grew.

Amanda shrugged.

“Just a bit. What can I say? I get on her nerves easily,” Amanda rocked back on the hind legs of her chair.

“Amanda, would you like some tea?” Ursula asked, gathering up their cups.

“No, thanks, Professor,” Amanda replied, her eyes not looking away from Akko as she kept her grin up. “Diana’s just been stressed out a lot. I’m sure it’s nothing personal.”

Akko buried her face into her hands and whined loudly. Ursula patted her back.

“Ugh, and all I did was make it worse,” Akko’s voice was muffled. “Nice going, me.”

Amanda raised an eyebrow. “What exactly did you _do_?”

“Enough to embarrass myself into the next century,” Akko said. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to talk to Diana again, let alone look her in the eyes.”

Her eyes, she remembered vividly -- sinking, blue whirlpools that pulled deep. Pulling like a hand on her wrist, like a wordless, soundless plea to stay. Diana’s eyes had been an invitation, a gateway to truth and intention and a reason to cut all the noise in Akko’s mind away, like it were a type of contamination that she had constantly sat herself through. And all Akko had done in return was yank and tear until they snapped apart, twisting herself out of grasp. Avoiding the connection and in the same breath, longing for more. How hypocritical. How unfair.

“Amanda,” Akko fought back her newfound tears again. “Can you- can you keep a secret? I really mean it this time. Like a forreal secret.”

Sensing the severity, Amanda simply leaned in and nodded. The light that shone in her emerald eyes was not a cunning spark, as per usual, but an attentive and understanding one. It only took one silent exchange for Akko to know she was on the same page.

“I’m afraid of losing Diana -- as a friend,” Akko rubbed her arm. “I was overthinking all our interactions and it just hit me, y’know. I miss when me and Diana were close. When all that crazy stuff was happening with us. And now everything is normal and-” Akko wiped at her eyes again, her voice breaking. “I dunno -- I don’t _want_ things to be normal!”

Amanda leaned back, chewing her lip as she processed the words.

“That’s so weird to say, _ugh!_ ” Akko cried. “I _know_ it doesn’t make sense! I don’t want to be normal friends with Diana! Like, what does that even _mean?_ ”

“Akko,” Amanda cut in as politely as she could. “It’s not weird. I mean, it _is_ , but it’s also not.” She groaned at her own lack of verbosity. “A lot happened between you two. That’s a fact. But only _you_ can piece your feelings together about it.”

“I’m inclined to agree,” Ursula chimed in, returning from upstairs and bending down to take Akko’s hand again, meeting her eyes. “You shouldn’t be putting yourself down for the way you feel. And, while avoiding Diana won’t make the situation better, you at least told her how you felt,” Ursula’s smile wavered. “Now you just need to talk to her again with a clearer head this time and a more, er, put-together action plan.”

Akko sniffed.

“You don’t think she’ll be angry at me?”

Amanda snorted. “It’s not like you haven’t pissed her off before!”

“I doubt she’ll stay mad at you once you two sit down and discuss things openly and honestly,” Ursula said.

 _Openly and honestly_ . Akko repeated the phrase in her head like a mantra. _Openly and honestly._

That evening, the three of them formed a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna let you all know how grateful I am for your comments, kudos, and support! It really makes this story so much fun to write and slowly build up. I do want to take my time with this, because I'm intensely passionate about this story. And despite my mean writing, I really do love you guys! I hope you're all enjoying the gradual burn here as much as I am. See y'all next week!


	8. Fateor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Anyway, worst case scenario, you know you can always hang with Jas, Cons, and I. Though, the moping could get old after a while.”

_Akko._

Diana had hardly thought of anything else as she made her way through the school. Nor down the dormitory hallway. Familiar routes became foreign, as if she was navigating Luna Nova for the first time again. Every turned corner, every step; old features became new in her mind as she scanned everywhere possible for Akko. Without knowing where she was, her surroundings had gradually turned cold, unfriendly, and strange.

Diana felt unwelcome in her own environment. Not that she was unacquainted with the feeling.

It wasn’t until she reached the Red Team’s door, that her thoughts had a moment to catch up with her. What Akko had said before she ran off earlier echoed inside her head.

_“It’s like- something changed between us.”_

Diana squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. The words were so _loud_ , as if Akko was right there saying them again. And she was right. Everything she said was right. Diana was keeping a distance. And why? When all it did was make things between them so confusing, why did she keep doing it?

_“But we just went back to how things used to be anyway.”_

Why did it hurt so much this time? Diana used to be so good at tuning out Akko’s words when they were still on shaky terms (or “rivals” according to Akko). But ever since she had let Akko in, it was impossible to get her out. Instead, Diana listened to everything Akko said a bit too much and pondered it a bit too long and had, as a result, talked a bit too little in the recent weeks. Enough for it to be noticeable. Enough for it to make a difference. It had put Akko on edge, to the point where she felt like they were drifting. The two of them were still too different for each other, and that made it easier for Diana to exacerbate the distance.

With a sigh, she knocked on the door.

“One moment,” a muffled voice called out behind the frame.

There was a shuffling sound followed by the clinking of glass. After a few seconds, Sucy opened the door and stared at Diana with an unreadable expression, one which she could only hope to classify as boredom. In her other hand she was swirling a vial of something bright blue.

“Diana,” Sucy cocked her head and smiled a little wider than she needed to. “You look tired. Want to try out my sleep potion?”

“Good evening to you too, Sucy,” Diana said, waving the potion away. “You wouldn’t have happened to see Akko around, have you?”

Sucy raised an eyebrow.

“I thought she was with you.”

“Yes, she was,” Diana huffed slightly, pressing her fingers to her temple. “Clearly that’s no longer the case.”

“What happened?” Sucy’s eyes flicked to the vial in her hand, then back to Diana. “Don’t tell me you upset her enough to make her run off?”

Diana rubbed her arm, casting her eyes down. In actuality, Akko had upset _herself_ into running off, but it was a void point now. All she cared about was locating Akko. The mere notion of not knowing where she was only further intensified the heart-pounding anxiety that swirled in her chest. It was obvious now that Diana _had_ to tell her what was going on with her as of late. And as pain-staking as it was for her to open up so deeply to someone so polarizing, she knew it was what she needed to do -- for the both of them.

“She was troubled when she hurried off and, despite my skepticism, I figured I’d at least visit her room first,” Diana said.

“Well, she’s not here.”

“Who isn’t here?” Lotte piped up from behind Sucy before peeking around her. “Diana? What’s going on?”

“Akko took off and Diana can’t find her,” Sucy answered the question for her.

“Oh no…” Lotte breathed, chewing her lower lip. She could already assume what could’ve happened, considering how nervous Akko was beforehand. “My first guess is Professor Ursula’s office.”

“Yes, Amanda agreed to check for me,” Diana nodded her head.

“We’ll go over there with you. Right, Sucy?” Lotte turned to Sucy, whose focus had completely switched to the vial in front of her. “ _Right_ , Sucy?”

“Right, right,” Sucy replied, turning from the door. She moved back to her desk. “Let me just put this down.”

“I appreciate it, but, really, you two shouldn’t feel inclined to-”

“Well, she’s our teammate, so if we _don’t_ know where she is, we’re in trouble.” Sucy said.

“As well as our very good _friend_ ,” Lotte’s tone shifted into a scolding one.

“That too,” Sucy responded a bit more honestly. Of course, she really was concerned about Akko, but she knew better than to express it so openly. Also, though she didn’t want to admit it, annoying Lotte was quite fun sometimes.

“I-” Diana took a breath. “Thank you.” Sidestepping to let the two girls out, she exhaled, her mind falling back down its spiral of worry.

* * *

 

“Are you going to spit it out or what?”

Barbara sat herself down on the bench. Her stare was strong enough to burn a hole through Hannah’s chest. Thankfully, they had picked a more secluded spot outside, otherwise passing students might’ve picked up on the heavy tension building in the air between them.

“Give me a minute, will you?” Hannah remained standing, silently fretting, twisting her hands together. She couldn’t find the nerve to look her friend in the eye, so she just fixated on the grass and how it folded over when she shifted her feet. Barbara rolled her eyes, impatient.

“I thought you would’ve had plenty of time on the way over here-”

“Please, Barbara,” Hannah finally pushed the words out, cutting her off. “I don’t want you to be mad.”

“I’m more angry that you’re suddenly having such a hard time confiding in me,” Barbara sighed, dropping her gaze and slumping her shoulders. “I feel like you’ve been keeping something from me.”

“I have,” Hannah snapped her head up. “I know I’ve been acting like an idiot lately, okay? I didn’t know how to articulate it, or even what to think about it myself,” she sighed, closing her eyes and balling her fists at her sides. “So I’m just gonna blurt it out.”

Barbara leaned forward, her eyes wide in uncertain anticipation.

“I’m jealous,” Hannah said, keeping her eyes shut and her arms straight, pulling the muscles tight to prevent herself from visibly shaking. “When I see you and Lotte hanging out and having so much fun together, I just- I feel all weird inside and I start thinking bad thoughts, like, that you’ll start hanging out with her more than-,” her voice broke, “more than me.” She took a trembling breath, heat pricking at her eyes. “Or that I’ll be replaced _completely_ … And I know it’s silly, and I know it’s selfish. It was never your fault. It’s all me and I don’t know why I can’t let it go.”

The two of them said nothing and the air around them fell completely still, save for Hannah’s sniffling.

“Hannah-” Barbara suddenly stood up, taking her shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” Hannah furrowed her brows. “No- Barbara, you did nothing wrong- I should be the one saying-”

“No, listen to me,” Barbara said, looking directly at her this time. “I’m sorry I caused you so much fear. Even if it wasn’t on purpose, I still made you feel like our friendship was in jeopardy, which was something I never wanted to do.”

“What?” Hannah found herself stuck staring into her friends eyes, her breath caught in her lungs. “I’m the one being stupid- you don’t-”

“I’ve been acting stupid, too! And if it makes any difference, I felt really jealous when I saw you and Amanda-” Barbara shook her head. When she had seen Amanda so close to her best friend earlier, it was like something deep and intense rose up inside her faster than she could comprehend it. If that was any similar to how Hannah felt when she spent time with Lotte -- she couldn’t even fathom it without wanting to cry. “I dunno, it was just weird.” Barbara pulled her into a hug, wrapping her arms snugly around her. She hadn’t even realized she was crying until she saw a droplet fall onto the fabric of Hannah’s vest.

“Barbara…” Hannah held her close, her eyes staring ahead under knotted brows, letting the words sink in. Breathing into her friend’s embrace, she let herself sink, sniffling back at her tears as they trickled steadily down. They allowed themselves to stay that way for a while. Which Hannah didn’t mind at all. In fact, she couldn’t imagine anything else being more important or rewarding than staying in Barbara’s arms right now.

Sighing, Hannah pulled back to look at her friend again. Noticing the tears, she cupped Barbara’s face, gently drying her cheek with her sleeve. “Don’t cry…”

“Speak for yourself,” Barbara laughed and took her hand in her own, lowering it down and intertwining their fingers.

Hannah smirked, wiping at her eyes with her other sleeve. Glancing at their hands, an unexpected warmth found its way under her skin. She quickly pressed her hand to her face, and then moved it to her chest. Had her heart skipped a beat? All she could take in was how the orange glow of setting sunlight fell perfectly against Barbara’s skin through her night-black hair.

“It’s getting dark,” Barbara said, smiling now.

“We should head inside.”

Hannah nodded, still holding her hand.

* * *

 

“Okay, repeat it again.”

“We need to talk about our friendship,” Akko’s sentence came out in a single-note drone. Amanda sighed.

“C’mon Akko, you gotta say it with more guts,” Amanda said, walking alongside her as they made another lap around the courtyard.

“It’s hard,” Akko whined. “Why can’t I just be indirect and hope Diana can read my mind or something...”  
  
“No. You get straight to the point. Like ripping off a band-aid. Fast and confident.” Amanda folded her arms. “And then you say…”

“I think something changed between us,” Akko sighed.

“And…” Amanda raised her eyebrow. “What did Professor Ursula say?”

“I explain myself. Afterward, I make sure not to talk over her and give her time to respond, even if it’s not what I want to hear. I try to keep from getting over-emotional.”

“Right.”

“And then I apologize for my earlier behavior,” Akko said. “ _Then_ I get emotional.”

Amanda gave Akko a playful shove, causing her to giggle a bit.

“ _Maybe_ not that last bit,” Amanda pinched her fingers together, a laugh coating her voice. “I agree with what Professor Ursula said, though; sometimes we just need to say the truth as soon as we realize it, that way we avoid future problems.”

“Sounded like she was speaking with experience.”

“Probably.”

Akko laughed again.

“Anyway, worst case scenario, you know you can always hang with Jas, Cons, and I. Though, the moping could get old after a while.”

“Thanks,” Akko sighed. Amanda reached over and patted her back, shaking her shoulder.

The practice session between the two of them was cut short when, pushing through the school doors in the distance, they saw a blonde figure followed by two others. Akko recognized them immediately, slowing to a complete stop in her tracks. Once again, the knowledge of how to move escaped her. Before all of the feigned courage she built up could drain out her ears, Akko began to recite her planned words in her head, which became increasingly difficult. The closer Diana came, the more Akko’s focus was pulled back toward her and away from her incessantly noisy brain. The world faded out, blurring around the edges as she honed in her attention like she was looking through the lens of a telescope. Every sound and noise and utterance of anything melted into silence, and the throbbing in her chest painted a percussion loud enough to drown out her own inner voice.

“I told you I’d find her,” Amanda teased, proudly smirking to herself.

Diana stopped a few feet away from them, her alert gaze fixing on Akko before relaxing, falling delicate at the sight of her again. Lotte ran ahead, pulling Akko into a tight hug, which Akko reciprocated with a quiet giggle. Sucy followed, slowly lingering behind.

“Akko, is everything alright?” Lotte said, her voice soft and reserved enough for no one else, aside from Sucy and Akko, to hear.

Akko simply nodded and forced a smile at her teammates.

“We had _just_ found out you were ‘missing in action’, but we’re still glad to see you’re fine,” Sucy said, making sure to not look at either of them as she spoke.

“Sucy,” Akko’s voice wavered, clearly touched by the somewhat sentimental words.

“That’s all. Don’t make it gross,” Sucy pursed her lips. “Anyway, Diana needs to talk to you.”

With startling precision, following Sucy’s declaration, Diana stepped forward.

“Thank you, Amanda,” she said, although her eyes still set themselves on Akko. “If it isn’t too much trouble, I’d like to speak with Akko alone.”

The three other girls looked at one another and then at Diana. And, as if a silent agreement between the three of them was just exchanged, they all slowly headed toward the doors. Amanda trailed behind Sucy and Lotte, giving Akko a quick wink and thumbs up. Akko watched as they disappeared, the sinking feeling re-emerging in her chest again. Diana sighed, pressing her fingertips to her forehead, rubbing at the crease she obtained from her previous state of distress.

“Akko, you seriously worried me.”

“I know,” Akko said. “I’m really sorry.”

A few seconds of silence fell between them and, so far, they were the longest seconds of Akko’s life. The usual tension that Diana often carried in her presence appeared to be wound up even tighter this time, like tuning a violin too high, twisting the pegs until they strained hard against the tailpiece to keep from snapping.

“I need to-,” Diana paused and took a moment to inhale and exhale. “I need to talk to you about something.”

Akko bit her lip, a strange mixture of relief and apprehension twisted in her gut with a dissonance heavier than lead.

“Yeah,” Akko said, the words tumbling out. “Me too.”

“Shall we walk?” Diana stepped in a bit closer. Akko could hear her heartbeat inside her head clearly now.

“Yeah- yeah, with all this uh- fresh air,” Akko scratched her neck. “Good for the lungs.”

 _Jeez, Akko, what are you even saying?_ Mentally, she was already smacking herself in the face. _Say something normal please!_

Diana tilted her head as she began to walk, motioning Akko to follow her. Managing to move her cement legs, she joined Diana’s side as they made their way in the opposite direction of their friends. The two of them walked quietly together, every step echoed in Akko’s ears as the lack of words grew more and more agitating with every second. Finally, Diana looked down and up ahead again, flipping her hair away from her ear.

“It’d be appropriate for you to go first,” Diana said.

“Uh-oh yeah, um,” Akko shook her head, rubbing her face to loosen up her sudden case of being tongue-tied. “Right, I- uh-” _C’mon, just say the damn words already!_ “I feel like something changed…” Akko’s voice dropped pathetically, “...with us.”

Anticipating a reaction, Akko winced, keeping her gaze at her feet as she walked. But Diana didn’t react at all, or if she did, Akko didn’t have the keen observation skills to see it. Frustrated, she looked over at Diana, who continued to keep her eyes averted. All those thoughts that must float around in her head. How Diana could keep from spilling her soul out so expertly eluded Akko, even now -- especially now. However, her eyes had always betrayed her; Akko remembered vividly the hurt that lingered in them when she broke away from her grasp, how it flickered deep inside her pupils like the dying flame of a candle. This, she had seen and processed, and still, too overwhelmed by her own anxiety, ran off.

“Sorry if that makes no sense,” Akko forced herself to add something, _anything,_ to her admission, since Diana still kept deathly quiet. “The fight with the Noir Missile- it was a really big deal, I think.”

Diana stiffened up.

“Of course it was a big deal, Akko,” Diana’s voice was harsh, yet, too soft and too tired to hold its usual icy edge. It was as if she was low on fuel, or energy, or both. Probably both. “I think about it constantly.” A truth, but an under-exaggeration. She thought about it whether she wanted to or not.

“I didn’t know you still thought about it too,” Akko said, gulping. “I thought it was just me. And I thought, after what happened, we’d be closer. And I thought we were, for a little bit, and then it was like… things fell in place again, but the way they did before everything- before Professor Croix came and you left school and Arcturus-”

“You are right,” Diana came to a complete halt, her fingers rubbing her eyes again. Under the shadow of her palm, Akko could she her clench her teeth. Stopping herself from saying anything else, she waited for Diana to find her words again. “Do you want to know why I’ve been so distant, Akko?”

“Yes,” was all Akko could say.

“It wasn’t planned,” Diana said. “Perhaps, it was because the initial shock finally fell away with time.” She sighed, finding Akko’s eyes again. “Regardless, I’ve found myself going back to those moments with you, Akko, and I re-imagine them again and again,” her voice turned breathless.

“I dream about them.”

“Diana-” The more her words sunk in, the less Akko knew what to say.

“Every time, I am trapped in these scenarios where I have to come to terms with the fact that-” Diana paused, biting her lip as the words clawed at her, wanting to rip themselves free, wanting her to scream it out like she so often screamed in those nightmares, like a child: lost, frightened, alone. “That even one error-”

Had the ground disappeared beneath her? Had the structures around them of stone fallen away? It seemed that only she and Akko existed in empty space, timeless, limitless. Perfect for things to crumble away, the way she felt herself begin to. The walls were weak; flooding over, collapsing under the pressure.

“Diana, don’t- I-” Akko could feel it; all with one glance, the serious shift in Diana’s tone, and the flickering light inside her eyes that burned brighter and louder than her voice would allow. She wanted to hug her, reach out to her, touch her. But, that fear -- it was paralyzing, binding, suffocating. Instead she pushed empty words out of nowhere -- something to fill the space. “You shouldn’t think like that-”

“You could’ve _died,_ Akko!” Strength rammed itself into her tone again and Akko went still. Diana’s sharp, studying eyes held her up, as if she were suspended in air; floating momentarily before dropping back to the ground again. “One second, one lapse in judgement, one wrong decision and you could’ve been gone forever.”

“You can’t put that on yourself, Diana!” Akko’s chest felt tight again and she wanted to yell at her. She didn’t know what or why, but she did, because it was all making her hurt for some reason and she wished it would stop. “You can’t just- _punish_ yourself for things that didn’t happen.”

“Akko,” Diana paused and then, like it were nothing, closed up again. A clam snapped shut deep, deep at the bottom of the dark ocean. “If something had happened to you,” She turned away. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

Akko thought she had spoken, but all that came out was a croak.

“I accept your apology,” Diana said. “And I’d like to apologize for making you worry about our friendship. I hope we can attempt to study again soon.” Her voice dropped. “I hope I can improve.”

 _Say something, idiot! Don’t just stand there with your mouth open._ Akko’s thoughts berated her as she simply stood with her mouth open, still in shock by Diana’s sudden change.

Their eyes lingered on one another, longer than either of them had expected. It was Diana who broke first, pushing a small smile up.

“It’s getting late, isn’t it?” Diana said. “I’m positive your friends are wondering why we’ve been out so long.”

Before Akko could say anything, Diana turned around on her heels, beginning to walk back to the entrance she came from. She wanted to stop her somehow, but her train of thought was replaced with that hissing, useless static again. Diana’s words echoed in her mind like a broken record, like an endless echo down a tunnel to nowhere -- a tunnel to where her heart had buried itself. Her heart, that she now realized, had been beating at what seemed like a hundred beats per minute. Her muscles had been so tense. Akko had only walked a bit, but her body responded like it had just run a marathon.

Diana’s footsteps grew quieter and Akko swiveled around.

“Diana!”

Diana turned back and was greeted with a smiling, waving Akko. A familiar Akko.

“I’ll come by tomorrow!” Akko yelled with smiling teeth, her arm raised enthusiastically in the air.

Diana simply nodded and turned away again.

How convenient for Akko that she had been so far ahead, unable to spot the tear that found itself in her eye as she grinned. It rolled down her cheek like it had broken free from a dam she didn’t realize she had built.

But it was okay, because, well -- she had an odd feeling that the fissure was necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! I hope it's been a pleasant one so far! Hope I didn't keep you all waiting too long with this chapter, I was nagging at myself to get it juuust right, haha! 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy, and I'll see ya'll next chapter! Things are getting interesting now...


	9. Nitor

It was a simple sleep spell.

Diana was still disappointed that she had not attempted it earlier. Then again, she was holding onto that sliver of doubt that her recurring nightmares would stop eventually -- that she’d get over whatever it was that kept her anchored in those snippets of time. This spell in particular made it so she would be able to fall asleep and stay asleep. While there was no guarantee that the spell would work in terms of fixing her dreams, she was willing to at least try it, for the sake of her sanity, which she could tell was becoming slightly more unhinged with every restless night. She knew, however, that she ran the risk of trapping herself in another nightmare. It was a risk she was willing to take if she could get her body to rest for its proper eight hours.

Her thoughts kept moving back to Akko. She couldn’t stand what she had said to Akko in such a state, and everything she _didn’t_ say: things she still didn’t know _how_ to say. Akko wanted answers, but the ones she gave only seemed to tear into her heart deeper than the questions, themselves, did. Diana chastised herself for her brutal honesty and for the lack of her usual conversational grace -- a politeness that seemed to fade as time went on, as her thoughts continued to eat her alive.

But Akko had needed to know. It wasn't fair to push her away without explanation. And although it was too much, too heavy for Akko to anticipate or fully contemplate in that quick moment, it had been necessary. As awful as she felt about it, Diana did not regret her choice.

_I did what was best._

Perhaps, if Diana repeated the words enough, she would start to believe them.

Diana settled into her bed and held her wand up to eye level, lowering her forehead to the tip, closing her eyes, and muttering the incantation. A small beam of dark blue light emanated from her wand and disappeared into her forehead. Within several seconds, Diana could already feel her eyelids growing heavy and her body relaxing, gently allowing her to drift off to sleep.

* * *

_It’s quiet for once._

_She’s at her desk again. The candle nearby flickers from the sudden breeze. She hears a creak and turns in her chair._

_It’s Akko. She’s sitting next to her. The feeling of seeing her there -- it’s familiar._

_Staring. Her eyes are focused and unfocused all at once, Diana can recognize her face and can’t at the same time. The room flickers around them. Just like the candle, it blurs in and out, trying to focus and still failing. But Akko is unfazed. Akko doesn’t move._

_She just keeps staring._

_Diana doesn’t know what to think. So she doesn’t think. She reaches a hand out to her, but it’s as if Akko stretches just out of her reach._

_“Akko,” Diana hears herself say, though she doesn’t remember wanting to speak. “Are you alright?”_

_Akko stares. Blinks. Tilts her head with an absent look, like a newborn; seeing everything and knowing nothing. Then after a second, she pauses. Smiles. Nods her head._

_“Of course I am, Diana,” Akko says, her voice deceptively cheerful -- so alarmingly sweet it sends a freezing chill down Diana’s spine. “I’m in here, with you. So... of course I’m okay.”_

_“Of course,” Diana repeats, she looks down at her desk. It’s littered with books and parchment. She opens the large textbook in front of her-_

_The book emits a blood-curdling screech so loud it rings inside her ears and claws at the inside of her skull. Slamming the book shut, her breath goes in rapid, hands shaking._

_That was her voice again, wasn’t it?_

_“Sorry… about that,” she hears herself speak._

_“About what?” Akko still hasn’t moved. Diana swallows, feeling her body go still from the building terror in her gut. Akko’s eyes move down at the papers between them, while the rest of her is statue-still. Diana wonders if she’s breathing. “Hey… Diana, I wanted to ask you something.”_

_“Yes?” Diana tries to move toward her, but again, Akko remains at the same distance._

_“Why am I so important to you?”_

_“You’re my friend, Akko. Why wouldn’t you be important to me?”_

_She laughs, or more so, opens her mouth for a hollow, empty mimicry of a laugh to come out instead._

_“No, no, no, you’re misunderstanding,” Her eyes flick up. “You don’t dream about your friends, Diana.”_

_Her smile is too wide, too beatific, too full of teeth. Her eyes are large and empty and deep enough for her to fall into. Diana knows this isn’t right, but yet, she can’t help believing it all as a reality._

_“You dream about me.”_

_“I… ” Diana shakes her head. “I can’t help what I dream about.”_

_“Are we friends, Diana?” Akko leans in, eyes big and curious and almost mocking in their anticipation. “Or are we… something else?” She smiles sickly again._

_“Something else? I- I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean-”_

_“I don’t understand_ you, _Diana!” Akko presses a hand to her lips to stifle another high giggle. “I’m not in any danger now. It’s just me and you. Safe. Alone.” Akko moves closer to her and Diana attempts to back away now, pushing her back up against her chair, but to no avail, the distance between them suddenly begins to close. “Isn’t that what you want?”_

_“I-”_

_“Or does the great Diana Cavendish, head of the House of Cavendish, not know what she wants?” Akko feigns a gasp. “Now_ that’s _a strange thought!”_

_Diana finds the strength to stand from her seat. Akko mirrors her with a terrifying quickness._

_“Get out.”_

_“C’mon, Diana, what do you want from me?” Akko leans into her and grabs her shoulders. Diana can’t look away from those dark red eyes, looking right through her soul. “Sheesh, don’t be difficult! Just tell me what you want!”_

_“I said leave!” Diana loses her temper and pushes Akko away from her. She falls to the floor and the entire room crumples up under her impact, singeing in the corners of Diana’s vision like burning paper curling up into ash._

_Smoke rises up and Akko is coughing. Coughing. She won’t stop. Diana moves toward her and suddenly the room disappears in a sea of smoke and when it fades out, she’s in what she recognizes as the hallway of her manor. But, that sound -- that coughing -- it’s still in her ears. She follows it through the maze of twists and turns. It grows closer._

_Everything towers over her, much larger than she last remembered it. The coughing is louder as she approaches a specific door. She has to stand on her tiptoes to reach the knob, but she manages to twist it open with her tiny fingers._

_“Akko, are you-” Diana starts, but her voice drifts off -- soft, weak. Her teddy bear slips out of her hand._

_“Mama?”_

_Her mother is sitting up in her bed, hunched over, almost folding in on herself as she coughs so loudly it reverberates throughout the entire room. It’s so much worse today. Much worse than it had been yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, and the day before-_

_The doctors had said she had another year. They had lied to her. Figures. What did non-magical people like them know anyway?_   
_  
"Oh no,” Diana rushes to her mother’s bedside, who takes her hand in her own. “Mama!”_

_“Diana-” her mother manages to say between fits of coughing. Her hair drapes over her face like a curtain, her foggy blue eyes look through the strands; unfocused, unseeing, “Diana, go find Anna, okay? Please-”_

_“Not necessary,” a voice speaks from behind. As soon as Diana turns around and sees Anna with a few other men in uniform, one of the butlers scoops her up. She screams again -- just like that sound from the book -- pathetically flailing her arms and legs, trying to wiggle free._

_“No!” Diana continues to screech through her tears as she’s carried out of the room. The room filled with pitiful sounds of sniffling and sobbing and coughing. The room filled with people she doesn’t recognize with masks and white robes. The room where she sees her mother for the last time._

_“No, Mama! No! Please!”_

_This time, her shrilling scream is deafening enough to wake her up._

* * *

 

“Diana?”

“She’s shaking…”

Diana’s eyes bolted open, but the vivid sunlight coming through the window made her shut them again. Sitting up, she rubbed her wet eyes, and looked to see both Hannah and Barbara at the side of her bed. It was then that she noticed Barbara was holding her hand.

“You were crying in your sleep,” Hannah said.

“Diana, are you…?” Barbara’s voice trailed off, seeing how swollen Diana’s eyes were. “Diana…”

Diana didn’t respond. She didn’t know what to say. This vulnerability -- it was painful. The dreams had always been vulnerable, she knew that. But this one, it had hit her where it truly hurt. It hit _hard_. It took Diana a moment to process that she was no longer dreaming, looking around the room with a vacant expression.

“Apologies,” Diana managed to croak the words out. How many times had she apologized in the last week? There was no point counting. It didn’t matter. “I need to get ready.”

Diana attempted to get out of bed, but Hannah and Barbara didn’t move from their place. Diana looked at them, raising an eyebrow. Hannah looked down at her hands, before back up to Diana, her eyes pleading.

“We’re really worried about you.”

“When we weren’t able to wake you up, we…” Barbara said, pausing and sniffling, biting her lip. “We were so scared.”

Diana simply shook her head, not having the energy to find a tactful way to respond to her teammate’s concern.

“I used a spell to keep me asleep. I have clearly made a lapse in judgement. I didn’t mean to frighten you two. My error entirely,” Diana said, motioning for the two of them to move. “Now, if you would please, I have to get ready for class.”

Her teammates looked at one another silently, before getting up and stepping aside. As Diana hurriedly disappeared around the bookcase that cut her off from the rest of the room, they exchanged their stares of deep concern without saying a word.

They needed to find a way to help Diana, and soon, whether she wanted it or not.

* * *

 

Class with Finnelan was super boring, as usual, and Akko felt herself dozing off again. Her eyes found the back of Diana’s head a couple rows ahead and she sighed, closing them. The last conversation they had was all she could think about. She’d barely gotten any sleep that night and instead, spent it wiggling around in her bed and annoying her teammates with her constant groaning and mumbling.

It wasn’t fair. How could she sleep when Diana couldn’t? Why wasn’t she over there _helping_ her? Sure, she didn’t know how to help or if Diana even wanted help, but she could’ve at least tried.

Diana’s head moved a bit and Akko’s breath came out funny. She shook her head, eyes moving down to the paper, not wanting to look creepy for staring.

While Diana hadn’t said anything to her before class started, Akko wasn’t too surprised by that, as she usually tried to keep herself as focused on the lessons as possible. She couldn’t help but envy that ability sometimes. She’d probably be doing a lot better grade-wise if her mind wasn’t so full of loud, noisy things -- _meaningless_ things, like what ifs and maybes and scenarios that she knew would never play out the way she wanted them to. All channels playing at once and and no remote.

But whenever Diana spoke to her, everything went quiet. Even if it was only for a moment before the noise came back. But still, Akko noticed, because when Diana spoke, she paid attention. Because she _wanted_ to pay attention.

Sucy nudged her and she sat up, her ears catching Finnelan’s dismissal, followed by the shuffling sounds of all the students gathering up their things. Akko didn’t really think as she shot up from her seat and ran down to catch up with Diana, snaking her way around the other students.

“Diana!” Akko called out, causing a few students to turn their heads, as well as Hannah and Barbara.

Diana, however, hadn’t turned to look at her; it was like she had been frozen -- caught, and couldn’t make herself move.

“Diana,” Akko repeated, walking closer. “I just wanted to ask if six o’clock would be an okay time-”

“No,” Diana’s voice cut in, still turned away. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to tutor you today, Akko.”

“Huh?” Akko was taken aback, yet she continued moving closer. “What are you-”

“ _Must_ I repeat myself?” Diana’s voice sounded as rigid as her body, cold and unmoving. It made the hair on Akko’s neck stand straight. “Today will not work. We will have to schedule another time.” And without so much as a glance back, Diana made her way out to the hall.

Much to Akko’s surprise, Hannah and Barbara did not follow after her, and instead looked back at Akko, both with a strange and fearful wideness in their eyes. A look Akko had only been familiar with from the time she had vowed to bring Diana back to Luna Nova from her estate. That signaled her. She knew something was very wrong. Again, without thinking, she ran out after Diana, who had surprisingly made it far down the hall. Once she ran and caught up to her, she grabbed her shoulder.

Quicker than Akko thought, Diana spun around and she froze.

Her hair had been combed to partially hide her face from her profile, which was odd, since Diana always had her hair back. As soon as their eyes met, Akko took a sharp inhale.

Diana was swollen red around her eyes, as well as the tip of her nose. The colors contrasted heavily with the alarming paleness in the rest of her skin. Her icy blue irises moved, looking down on her, lips quivering.

Akko was never the best at reading people, but she was smart enough to know this wasn’t the type of redness that came with allergies. Especially considering Diana’s behavior, Akko could tell this was something emotional. She needed to do something.

“Diana…” her tone went soft.

“I-” Diana’s voice came out thick and she cleared her throat, closing her eyes for a bit too long and a bit too tightly. When she opened them, they were shining. “I have somewhere to be.”

She attempted to move away and Akko side-stepped her again. By this point, Sucy and Lotte had found themselves out in the hall, watching, along with a small group of nosy students.

“Diana, what’s wrong?” Akko asked and took her hand. “Is it the-” she lowered her voice, “is it the dreams?”

“Akko, please…” Diana’s voice lost it’s edge, almost pleading. Her hand tensed up before she pulled away. “I can’t talk about this here.”

Diana was about to turn again before Akko clenched her fists and raised her voice.

“Did our talk mean nothing?” Akko spoke up and Diana stilled, looking down to the floor, as if she was ashamed -- her eyes would not meet her.

The girls down the hall murmured and whispered amongst themselves at the exclamation. Annoyed with their classmates’ inability to mind their own business, Sucy “accidentally” poured out a vial of stink potion from her pocket. The noxious gas immediately filled the area, causing all the girls to cover their noses and run off in disgust. Luckily, Lotte saw what Sucy was about to do and muttered an incantation to keep the fumes away from the two of them.

“Oh, Sucy, should we do something?” Lotte said, her voice tinged with worry for her friend, who was obviously growing more frustrated with Diana’s behavior.

“What is there to do?” Sucy said, disapperating the liquid and picking up her now emptied vial.

“I- I don’t know,” Lotte said and looked at Sucy. “I know we want them to sort out their issues, but I feel so bad!”

“Of course you feel bad,” Sucy responded, looking back to meet her friend’s eyes. “You’re a caring person and a kind friend. It’s your nature.”

Lotte hadn’t expected such a response from Sucy, especially one that was so complimentary toward her. It was… nice. Lotte smiled to herself.

“Sometimes I feel impatient about it too,” Sucy said. “I have to hold back the urge to grab Akko and tell her, but,” she shook her head. “It’s not my place to tell Akko what her feelings are. Only she can do that.”

Lotte nodded. Sucy had always been good at seeming unbothered by things, especially feelings. It was relieving to see that despite this disposition, she really did care for her friends. Lotte wondered that maybe, because of this appeared detachment, that Sucy had a better hold of her own emotions. And in that sense, Lotte couldn’t help but feel a bit envious; she was always caught up in everyone else’s emotional turmoil, she rarely gave herself time to think about her own feelings.

_What are my feelings?_

The thought was cut short when she heard Akko yelling again.

“Diana!”

Diana had turned and began walking away, Akko following behind her. Lotte moved to catch up to them, but Sucy raised a hand and shook her head.

“Those two need to talk,” Sucy said, her voice even, “alone.”

Diana stopped in her tracks and hung her head, which was so unlike her, someone who always stood up straight, composed and proud. Looking Akko in the eyes had never been more difficult. Akko huffed, stiffening.

“Diana, I'm serious!” Akko said. “How do you expect me to feel about this? You need to talk to me. You-”

“Akko,” Diana's voice was weak, broken from any sharpness it could have held. “I-” She had no idea what she wanted to say. “I-”

Before she could finish the word she choked up and a sudden sting filled her eyes. Akko paused and looked around. She nodded to Sucy and Lotte, as well as Hannah and Barbara who had caught up far behind them, and took Diana's hand in her own.

“Come with me,” Akko whispered, and Diana, unexpectedly, allowed her to lead her away, too sapped of energy to protest or ask Akko where she was taking her.

Akko didn't want to admit it, but she didn't know where she was taking Diana either, just anywhere they could be alone. That was all she knew. Diana's hand was languid in her grasp and she almost felt like she was dragging her friend through the school halls.

Finally, they had made their way to the Red Team’s room and Akko quietly ushered Diana inside, promptly shutting the door behind them.

“Would you like to-”

Suddenly, before Akko could finish her question, she found herself in a sudden embrace. Diana wrapped her arms snugly around her, and there was a odd sense that she hadn’t truly hugged someone for a very long time, given the way she seemed to melt into her arms. Diana buried her head into Akko’s shoulder and it was quiet between them for a moment before the palpitations of Akko’s heart kicked in, and she could hear it thrumming inside her ears. In a shaky and awkward attempt to cut through the silence, Akko slowly returned the embrace, her arms finding their way around Diana’s waist.

“Diana…” Akko began, her voice barely audible.

Her words were greeted with a strange noise from Diana, who still hadn’t lifted her head. It took Akko a moment to realize it was a sniffle, and another moment to realize it was dissolving into a sob as Diana’s body shook beneath her hands.

“I’m sorry, Akko,” Diana spoke, the sound of her voice was raspy and so much softer than it had ever been. Vulnerable.

“F-for what, Diana?”

“I-” Diana took in a sharp breath, slowly exhaling against her. “For keeping everything inside. For being so cold. For making you feel so guilty for something you can’t control.”

“Diana, please, it’s-”

“No,” Diana lifted her head and Akko looked into those deep, blue eyes once more, watery and surrounded in rings of red, sunken slightly from lack of sleep. “Don’t justify it. I’ve kept everyone out -- especially you, and that isn’t fair.”

Akko paused, her breath catching in her throat again before quickly shaking her head.

“I don’t want you to shut me out,” Akko said. “Whatever’s going on, these dreams… I know I can be useless sometimes, but I want to help you!”

Diana’s lips quirked a bit, and she lifted a delicate hand, seemingly to stifle a soft laugh.

“What? Did I say something weird?” Akko tilted her head, raising a brow.

“Calling yourself useless… you risk your life over and over to save others, to save the entire planet, and you’d still call yourself useless…” Diana said, her eyes moving to the floor. “I really don’t understand you sometimes… but then again, I’ve been just as confusing, if not more.”

“It’s okay, really,” Akko said, taking Diana’s hands in her own. They found each other's eyes again, and Akko couldn’t help but feel that same thrumming in her chest when they did. “I’m here for you, I want you to really hear that! I’m right here! And I’ll always be here. Just, please, don’t shut me out anymore. It hurts me to see you like this, when you won’t tell me-”

Akko opened her mouth and a strange croaking noise came out in place of words. Her hold on Diana’s hands tensed a bit and a warmness spread over her face, her vision blurred a moment before hot tears began to glide slowly down her cheeks. Diana's mind flashed to her dream again, how intense Akko's stare had been- but, it all seemed to fade when she saw how Akko's watery eyes were full of deep care; empathy that she found admirable.

“J-just promise you’ll let me- I won’t run away anymore- I won’t- I promise-”

“Akko,” Diana brought her into her arms and this time it was Akko who buried her head against her. “It’s alright. I won’t hide anymore, not from you. If you promise not to run, then I promise not to hide. Okay?”

“Yeah,” Akko spoke against her shoulder.  

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll start by apologizing for such a long, unannounced hiatus, it was not my intention to keep you all waiting so long. This past semester had been a very busy one, but I always had plans on continuing this story. As always, I adore and deeply appreciate your comments and kudos for this work, your support means the world to me. 
> 
> That being said, I wonder where this chapter will bring us next with these two? (:


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